i just don't get it

[looking4guidance]

Hi All,

I just like everyone else had a failed BPD relationship. I ended it because I just couldn't take the lies, manipulation, and overall physical and emotional abuse anymore.

My BPD ex won't leave me alone. I just don't understand. We went 3 days NC and I messed up and tried to talk to her. She said I picked the wrong time. 

Then we went 5 days NC, sure enough I woke up to a loving text. But it was confusing, basically saying "don't mess the next relationship up when a girl loves you". I called her and told her I do love her but i don't know how this will work.

Of course, I asked if she was seeing anyone else. She freaked out and went into rage mode blocking me for 3 days and then contacting me again. This time I couldn't take it anymore so I said please let me heal and let me move on with my life OR (other option) we take the right steps to make this work. She says she misses me all the time. I accepted but again just laughed, thought how pathetic, that she is trying someone else out and contacting me just in case this new relationship fails OR even better he isn't good in bed. Because sex was everything for this girl and I was good at it.

So again - said our goodbyes. Sure enough 5 days later received a missed call and then an apology text saying it was an accident. I failed. I called her, had a great long talk but didn't fall for the trap. Didn't reach out the next day but sure enough she did. I failed again - said what do you want from me? And she just said she was hopeful for us to work out but we need the time away from each other.

This all happened before. 2 weeks of No sex from me had her going crazy and begging for me to come give her sex. Now it is almost 3 weeks no sex and she suddenly has no problem. Says she misses me but seems oddly happy on the phone.

I just don't get it. I really don't understand why BPD people do this. MOVE ON!
But also I get it - I was good in bed I am good looking and I gave her the love she dreamed of. Too bad - too bad her mental illness got in the way.

I think I am just going to ignore. Blocking is too easy.

What do you guys think? Also if someone with BPD can provide input as to why this occurs. I just get the feeling she has a new guy. But of course she won't be honest. After all the entire relationship i heard "it is so easy for me to get a guy to fall in love with me". Hilarious I put up with that.

But at the end of the day... .I got a taste of her hell, she gets the full meal.

[SWLSR]

You are not going to get it.  Because most BPD folks are so full of lies and misdirection.  They won't you around but not too close.   The best thing you can do is ignore her.

[looking4guidance]

You are not going to get it.  Because most BPD folks are so full of lies and misdirection.  They won't you around but not too close.   The best thing you can do is ignore her.

This is finally what I am doing. I am worried it will never end.
The girl will literally drive an hour to drop off "gifts" at my house. Crazy.

[SWLSR]

That is a tough one she does not want you to get away from her

[ArleighBurke]

I think I am just going to ignore. Blocking is too easy.

Is it? It seems like YOU keep going back. It seems like ignoring her is a big problem for you. So I can imagine that blocking her would be quite difficult for you. Despite her actions, if you block her, I think you'll wonder all the time about what she's doing and whether she's trying to contact you... .

Are you really over her? Have you actually made the decision to leave?