Strength

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Asking for strength team.   
Been hard past few days I want to reach out so bad and I haven't and I'm sure I won't, I just want the feeling to go away.
A few months NC post me leaving her, couple year dating relationship filled with all the "stuff" u all know too well about these relationships.
Despite her actions, and in the end when I finally said no mas for good, and her threats to ruin me, ruin my career, and others I love because 'she didnt get what she wanted' (yes she really said that a few times) I still miss her. 
I know firmly I would never get back with her, reach out to her or respond if she reached out to me, but please remind me... .
I still prefer to and do have her blocked everywhere and we don't really see each other socially so good there.  Typically, she rebounded quickly, damaged another close relationship to her, and is moved in with new guy.   Insane how they/she could go from complete basket case post break up to moved in w someone.   I wouldn't move her into my place after all the time with her.  Guess that probably ate her up.   Anyway give me strength. Sorry for last part straying, was venting a bit.  I'm doing ok otherwise, rededicating myself to me, out of T, working hard, seeing a couple girls in a healthy plutonic way, taking care of my health. If not for this nagging that won't go away, I'd be great.

[Aiko]

Asking for strength team.   
Been hard past few days I want to reach out so bad and I haven't and I'm sure I won't, I just want the feeling to go away.
A few months NC post me leaving her, couple year dating relationship filled with all the "stuff" u all know too well about these relationships.
Despite her actions, and in the end when I finally said no mas for good, and her threats to ruin me, ruin my career, and others I love because 'she didnt get what she wanted' (yes she really said that a few times) I still miss her. 
I know firmly I would never get back with her, reach out to her or respond if she reached out to me, but please remind me... .
I still prefer to and do have her blocked everywhere and we don't really see each other socially so good there.  Typically, she rebounded quickly, damaged another close relationship to her, and is moved in with new guy.   Insane how they/she could go from complete basket case post break up to moved in w someone.   I wouldn't move her into my place after all the time with her.  Guess that probably ate her up.   Anyway give me strength. Sorry for last part straying, was venting a bit.  I'm doing ok otherwise, rededicating myself to me, out of T, working hard, seeing a couple girls in a healthy plutonic way, taking care of my health. If not for this nagging that won't go away, I'd be great.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Aiko, Missing your Ex is one thing; reaching out is another.  The former is normal; the latter can be problematic and lead to more pain.  Let me ask you a tough question: would you be interested in a recycle if the opportunity presents?  If so, you're like a lot of us, including me, who have recycled.  If not, keep up the good work and move on with your life.  What would you like to see happen?  What are your gut feelings?

LuckyJim

[Aiko]

Thanks LJ. No i wouldnt recycle. Did the break up make up thing w her a few times like we all have and I wouldn't take her back again.   My gut each time was don't do it, I did, and I regretted it. And why I won't do it again. I just want the missing her and desire to reach out to go away.

[Lucky Jim]

I just want the missing her and desire to reach out to go away.

You're on the right track, Aiko, in my view.  I suggest a two-step process: acknowledging rather than suppressing your feelings as they come up (which you are doing by posting here), and then taking action to process the feelings.  How to process?  It's up to you, but here are some examples: Talk to a close friend or family member; write in a journal; practice mindfulness; take a walk in the woods; get some strenuous exercise; etc.  You get the idea.  You could think of your feelings of missing her as lightning passing through a lightning rod into the ground, where the electricity gets discharged.

LJ