Frustrated to the point of anger

[HMWIC]

Been married to my wife several years. Recently put the pieces together to discover that she has BPD. Still learning about BPD and trying to wrap my head around what this means for the future of my marriage and for our children. At first she was wonderful - idealization. Now she is impossible and tears me down on a regular basis - devaluation. The splitting is mind boggling - angry to blissfully happy in the blink off an eye. Everything is my fault and she has no accountability for anything. I have become very frustrated to the point of anger. I can't win and I'm never good enough. I love her but don't know how to cope with this situation where I'm married to an unstable and unaccountable woman who tears me down and rejects me at every turn. Don't have anyone to talk to about this... .

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi HMWIC and

I'm so sorry that you had cause to find us, however you have come to the right place.  Now you have many people you can talk to about this, and what's more you will be understood here.  You're not alone.  We can help.  Take some time to read others' posts and get involved.  There is much to be learned in doing so and you will quickly feel a part of a supportive community.   

I'd also encourage you to take a look at the tools and lessons to the right of the page as a starting point in learning how to improve things at home.  How many children do you have and what are their ages?  From what you describe, you seem to be encountering a wide range of typical behaviours.  What has been most difficult for you in the relationship and how long have you been aware of these behaviour from your wife?  Do fill us in a little on your story when you feel comfortable and let us know how best we can help you.  Things can and do get better.

Love and light x

[DaddyBear77]

Hello HMWIC 

I wanted to join Harley Quinn in welcoming you to bpdfamily - I'm glad you found us.

I was in a very similar situation when I joined - I had no one else to talk to about BPD and the extreme difficulties I had with my wife. I had also put the pieces together later in our marriage, and struggled to figure out how I could possibly make things better. I was especially angry and bitter at all the constant blaming. So I totally get it.

I'm looking forward to learning more about your situation, HMWIC - and again, welcome!

~DaddyBear77