*Daughter with BPD diagnosis, anyone feeling better but worse with the news?

[FloridaMom2018]

I just found out my teen daughter has BPD about a month ago.  It has been something hard to accept. I knew there was something off  about her for a long time, but I could not figure it out. Lately I have been feeling more confused than ever with her behavior and did not know how I was going to handle it. I was extremely overwhelmed. Finding out she has BPD was helpful because there was more clarity. However, it was quite difficult to take in this news. I do not have family support and I have to deal with it alone. It has been a tough month, but it also has made a lot more sense than the last 8 years. Anyone feeling better but worse with the news?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[heartandwhole]

Hi FloridaMom2018,



Welcome to the community! I'm sorry to hear that things have felt overwhelming for you lately. That is something many of the members here relate to. You are definitely not alone.

I'm glad you reached out for support, because this site has lots of tools that can help your relationship, and members who understand what you are going through. Although loving someone with BPD can be very challenging at times, things really can get better.   

You don't have the benefit of family support, which is difficult. Do you have professional support for yourself and your daughter? For example, is your daughter receiving treatment and was diagnosed in that context?

Keep posting. It really helps to share. We're here for you.

heartandwhole

[wendydarling]

Hi FloridaMom2018

Anyone feeling better but worse with the news?

Yes absolutely and many heads here will be nodding with you. Like you I felt relief with the diagnosis, it gave me an all important starting point 3 years ago and the downside was feeling worse like you say, overwhelmed, working though grief, loss, to acceptance - how real life is for my daughter, understanding her compass allowed me to walk in her shoes and the changes I could make to support her.

How are you coping FloridaMom2018   have you been able to take any steps forward?

We are here for you.

WDx

[Feeling Better]

I do not have family support and I have to deal with it alone. It has been a tough month, but it also has made a lot more sense than the last 8 years. Anyone feeling better but worse with the news?

Hello there FloridaMom2018, I’d like to join heartandwhole and wendydarling in welcoming you to the board.

I’m so sorry to hear that you do not have family support, and feel that you have to deal with this alone. I too felt alone when I first came here, my family just didn’t get it, and I doubt that they do now either. So, you have come to the right place to get lots of support.

I have to say that after my lightbulb moment when I first came here I was definitely feeling better (hence the name I chose), but then realisation set in and I gradually started feeling worse. The good news is that the feeling worse doesn’t last, at least for me it didn’t. With all the support that I received here and the knowledge that I slowly gained, I found that things did improve. I still have wobbly days, but I’m getting there. You will too, read as much as you can and keep posting, you will start to notice a difference x

[Faith Spring]

I'm in the same boat.  Relieved and distraught. 
Coming here and reading does help to make sense of things.   I don't know if I'll ever really wrap my head around it. 

I'll tell you this- after I had a mastectomy she drew a pic of me with one breast cut out with scissors.  And shoved it in my face.  It was thick with elmers glue. 

Now my deep fear was that she was cruel.  And yes that's cruel.  But knowing her brain is not working - it does help me feel stronger, like I may be able to be of some help.   

If her pancreas wasn't producing enough insulin and her doctor said she had diabetes  I wouldn't punish her for that.  So now her doctor has said her brain isn't producing what it needs for her to know better, to control her rage.   I just don't get it still.  I'm so confused.