Does my H show traits of a personality disorder?

[zk]

Hi there!  I am struggling with my decision to divorce my husband.  I am not looking for someone to tell me to stay or leave the marriage. I know that is a decision I must ultimately make on my own.  I guess I am looking for validation as to whether the traits my husband shows are typical of someone with personality disorder and narcissism.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

Welcome
 
You are in the right place.

Sorry you are going through this.

Can you say more about your situation, whatever you feel comfortable saying.

It's a safe space.

W hope, help, and healing, 

juju

[zk]

Conversation with husband is limited and I am often left confused as to what he really wants out of the relationship. He would rather not talk.  We are living in the same house, but in separate bedrooms since he came back in August.  Right now he says, "I am not even in the game," referring to his desire to reconcile the marriage.  He is dealing with depression and isolates himself and sees himself working on "him" before he could even think about our relationship.  He just finished a 6 month dialectical behavior group therapy.  Although he says it has helped him, I don't see much difference as far as relating to and entering into any kind of truthful/meaningful relationship with me.  He has very little empathy and doesn't seem to be able to acknowledge my wants and needs.  I let him come back to live with me after he was in a crisis of being highly suicidal.  There was an affair, he lost his job, and completely depleted his retirement savings... .lots of crap.  I want to give up on the marriage, but don't know if I am throwing in the towel too soon.  We have been married almost 15 years. No children. The last year and 4 months we have been estranged.

[formflier]

Was there a point where things turned in your marriage?   Has he always shown "BPDish" qualities?

You have found a good... safe place to work through this decision and learn about what you are facing.

Looking forward to hearing more from you soon.

FF