Plan for Improving Relationship with my Wife with BPD

[Caleb]

I just started reading The Essential Family Guide (Ch1). It perfectly describes my situation.

Is this a good source for a plan of actions?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Caleb,

I personally don't know that book. What do you think of it so far?

Can you tell us more about your situation please?

take care, pearl.

[Caleb]

Hi Pearl

The book is by Randi Kreger, who wrote "Stop Walking on Eggshells". It sounds really good having read ch1, which is available free on the internet. I have ordered the full book and waiting to access it. The book referred to this website.

I thought someone here might have read the book or know of another one structured to give advice on the subject in this thread.

Also, I struggle with being co-dependent, with so many broken friendships and family ties. Not sure how to get a reasonable balance in life, given problems with trust, manipulation, absurd accusations and fears, etc.

[pearlsw]

Hey Caleb,

I'm sure many have! Just not me. I live in a non-English speaking country and it is not easy get reading materials here!

Can you tell us more about your situation? How long have you been with your partner? Do you live together? Have kids? etc.

warmly, pearl.

[WileyCoyote]

That is a great book, and is essentially an updated stop walking on eggshells.  Randi Kreiger says as much somewhere in the book if I recall correctly.

Two other great books.

Since you mention codependancy... this can take the form of caretaking.
Stop Caretaking the Borderline




This one is great because you can give a copy to your partner.  There is no mention of BPD inside the book even though it is just Dialectical Behavioral therapy for couples.  Their is a tiny text reference to it on the cover at the bottom in mentioning the forward of the book by Marsha Lienehan, but my wife didn't notice.

The High-Conflict-Couple

My wife read the first chapter and said "That is me,  I'll try harder,  I think I understand your frustration"   Mind blown!   Now, she never read past the first chapter ... .but hey.   small steps

[WileyCoyote]

You can also go to the book reviews section of the message board and get feedback and read reviews.

Book Reviews Board

[Caleb]

Thanks 'Wiley' - you picked up on why my co-dependency, so will track that book down. I do have "High Conflict Couple" and was tossing up reading that or "The Essential Family Guide". I will stick with the Guide first then will definitely read "The High Conflict Couple".

[pearlsw]

Hi WileyCoyote and Caleb,

Thanks for your responses here! Would love to hear about how you see the readings, if you wouldn't mind sharing with those of us have limited access to reading materials in English!



thank you, pearl.

[Caleb]

Okay Pearl. It might be another book or two though  I will try and keep it focussed and gradual.

Is there anything(s) you particularly are looking for re BPD?

[pearlsw]

Hmmmm. Thanks for asking! Well, I'm not codependent, but many of our members are, so if you can share any insights on this it would help a lot of people!

For me, if you have any thoughts on break up threats or black and white thinking in particular I'd find that interesting/helpful!

take care, pearl.