Ten years and just discovered I’m married to a BPD

[Fit4life]

I always thought i was in a relationship with jekyl and Hyde. The love then turn to hate and abuse to the morning hug as if nothing happened the night before. Then being blamed that i treat them cold and not show affection back. The confusion and fear at times. The YEARS of councilors saying the same thing, to couples therapy to only have my partner give up after they felt ganged up on. I just bought the book “stop walking on eggshells” and found this group. It’s great to not feel alone.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Fit4Life,

You are not alone!    We're here!

It only took you ten years? Sometimes it takes 20 or 30 years, so you are doing okay!

Which issues are the most troubling for you? So did the couple's counseling help? Not really?

I'm with ya, I've been being loved/hated for many years now.

with compassion, pearl.

[CryWolf]

fit4life

welcome to the family   

10 years is a crazy amount of time to be with someone, let alone someone who suffers from BPD.

How have you managed the past 10 years to help yourself? How is your support system outside the relationship for yourself? friends, therapist?

Please share some dynamics of your relationship history if you may will. Many of us, felt so alone, unheard and thought we were going crazy for not understanding what was going on. Then we discovered BPD, and sadly it explained it for us.

How did you feel when you discovered about BPD? Do you have any questions in regards to the disorder?

We also have many tools on the dropdown located on the top of the site where it says "tools". These tools are not 100% gauranteed but they have helped many people here, and I would advice you to look them over.

Feel free to ask and share. I also encourage you to look at other members posts and explore. it is quite shocking to see how many people go through similar events, as to our situations

With love,
Wolf