Hi Spacecadet,
I learned from the experience that im a person who links "joy" with "excitement"
Being with my ex was a non-stop adrenaline junkie rush, just as so many of my prior careers were rooted in danger - which I felt joy through work. Hobbies and lifestyle in general was about getting that fix, I never took the opportunity to realise why i wasnt the sort of person who could lie down at an idyllic beach for more than 5 minutes before getting bored, I just assumed some people found "joy" in different things.
Its not, and my life now is about trying to re-wire the whole concept of what joy should be. Sure I could teach my ex how to play chess and find joy through her company alone, because she was unpredictable, what if she lost the game? I loved the edginess of not knowing how she would react, I got joy in the anticipation of unpredictable behaviour, not so much in the activity itself when played with less volatile personalities.
much I notice in your list I wouldnt get joy from, the reason being, most of it has the byproduct of "relaxing". and relaxing is what my therapist once told me I need to "learn" how to do.
So its hard to give you my list right now, most of what I expect to get joy from mimic yours, but it is a goal towards joy. I have no choice, I decided that this summer will be different from the last. Ive found a great deal of joy through studying, I have a passion for my subject but there isnt any andrenaline release in the career im going for: a good start right?
i get a lot of joy through cooking, but I learned it in a fast paced stressful environment, it was a joy i thrived in. It seems difficult to enjoy it at a slower pace. except for baking, which involves having to wait and taking time to carefully weigh ingredients. It is the closest thing I find that is joy with relaxation factor.
Ive started to use the spa and sauna, but its not so much joy as it is relaxation and stress relief, I get bored.
Ive never been able to slouch in front of the tv, except when I was with my ex.
I visit museums, art galleries etc, but dont get joy, just education.
the closest thing ive had is smoking, and as im stopping, that will be the last joy in my life gone :D
Joy is a different emotion for me to pin down, I think the closest i get to it is helping others and sharing in "their" joy. but its hard for me to find within myself beyond relationships with disordered unpredictable people and pursuing reckless dangerous hobbies and careers. I do feel a bit burnt out from it all though and looking for more sedentary joy filled experiences, so looking forward to picking up some tips on this thread.
