Does this sound like BPD? NPD?

[childhoodgone]

Is that what you want to do? Buy her affections for you? If you buy her affections like this, do you expect a big change in her personality? Is this really what you want?

sincerely, pearl.

For sure I want to survive, live and breathe and enjoy life.

At this moment I am after many days without sleep, my whole body is drowned in pain and suffering, and I do realize
that all my life I didn't really have some good happy perfect relationship, because I am myself codependent and I have also fear of abandonment.

I supported her financially for almost all of these 7 years, and these plastic surgeries are something that she requested many times from me.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

For sure I want to survive, live and breathe and enjoy life.

At this moment I am after many days without sleep, my whole body is drowned in pain and suffering, and I do realize
that all my life I didn't really have some good happy perfect relationship, because I am myself codependent and I have also fear of abandonment.

I supported her financially for almost all of these 7 years, and these plastic surgeries are something that she requested many times from me.

Are you in contact with her? How long have you been NC at this point?

What about using that money on therapy for yourself to face your codependency head on and also deal with your own fears of abandonment?

Have you seen the doctor yet about your sleep issues? Many people made suggestions to you about this, have you followed up on any yet? Or are you feeling depressed and a bit paralyzed to make any changes?

take care, pearl.

[childhoodgone]

What about using that money on therapy for yourself to face your codependency head on and also deal with your own fears of abandonment?

Have you seen the doctor yet about your sleep issues? Many people made suggestions to you about this, have you followed up on any yet? Or are you feeling depressed and a bit paralyzed to make any changes?

I am in a state of severe depression.

I have been to the Domestic Violence center. The Psychotherapist there called me a "wreck" and that I have severe case of PTSD and she
cannot help me with many of the things that I asked.

I seem to be Paralyzed to do things at this moment, because whatever I do, it seems the whole universe lashes out at me
and punishes me.

My mouth is dry and last person I talked to told me that most probably I am in a state of extreme anxiety and panic.

All I hear from the very few people I manage to talk to in real life during the week are the same: "Be strong! Give up being a victim!"
however I seem to not find any hope now