My daughter either loathes or hates me, I'm so devastated

[JMM13]

I am so devastated . My daughter either loathes or hates me ( spending my money freely when she loves me ). Now loathes me again and slagging me off to anyone who will listen . I feel so depressed and such a bad mother .
I have bought the book “ Stop Walking On Eggshells “  and reaches out to this community .
Can anyone help me ? I’m actually depressed myself and avoiding friends .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[I_Am_The_Fire]

Welcome to the community. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. You are most definitely not alone. *hugs*

Have you gotten very far in the book? There are also some really good articles and tools on the right side of the page. Have you read any of those yet? Can you tell us a bit more about what's going on and how you feel about it?

[Feeling Better]

Hello JMM13

I would like to join I_Am_The_Fire in welcoming you here.

I am so sorry to hear that your daughter keeps changing the way she feels about you, no wonder you are feeling depressed and avoiding friends.

Here is a link about depression which you might find useful, you just need to click below:

Depression

Have you sought professional help for your depression at all?

How wonderful that you are reading Stop Walking on Eggshells, another good book is Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Manning.

Hope to hear some more from you x 

[DoneMom]

JMM13,

So so sorry you are going through this - it’s so difficult dealing with the on/switch!  I totally get the extreme hate/love treatment, which is so confusing & so painful. I understand the frustration and the depression that comes with raising such an emotionally volatile child! My daughter told people in our small rural community that I was a drug addict, a mother who abandoned her, etc & not a single word of it was true... .You are not alone.

My DD23 is very happy to spend with abandon too ( when it goes on my bill). After feeling like a walking wallet to her for too many years,  I finally resolved myself to giving her no more financial assistance (outside of health insurance). 

It’s a hard path you are on but stay the course and do what you feel is right.  You are not a bad mother, btw, you are reading and learning & that shows me a very caring mother.  Go easy on yourself.

There’s lots to take in here but it’s all helped me understand my daughter & my own situation better.

I know you must feel exhausted, you are in good company here!

DMom