30 days ago he loved me, now we barely speak: Want to avoid divorce

[alliehad]

My spouse and I are separated due to his BPD. He won't get treatment and will not consider reconciliation.

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[pearlsw]

Hi alliehad,



If you are separated and he is unwilling to reconcile what next? You are hoping to avoid divorce?

Take your time, you are welcome here. Feel free to give us more details about how long you have been together, if you have kids, what his symptoms are, what is bothering you most, etc.

take care, pearl.

[alliehad]

We are newly married - 9months and we were together for 3 years. We had a big break last year over the same issues we are delaing with now.

I am to blame for all of his problems. If I don't do what he wants or how he wants it he yells at me. He rotates from depression to mania. He is currently in mania - way over spending, taking out high interest loans, selling his furniture, dating a few days after we split, demanding money from me, stone walls, and more. The arguments just go round and round with no resolution until I cave.

I love him even though he isn't that great to me. He won't even talk about reconciliation until i give him the money he thinks I owe him. I cry a lot. Less than 30 days ago he was telling me not to give up on him and how much he loved me. Now we barely speak.

[WonderingGirl]

My spouse and I are separated due to his BPD. He won't get treatment and will not consider reconciliation.

Hi, im a 'newbie' too.
I can relate to how you are feeling. What do you want most out of the relationship?