Anyone have advice on informing a narcissist you want a divorce?

[Newyork4078]

My husband has NPD and he knows I have seen an attorney and that divorce may happen, but I don't think he thinks I would actually go through with it. The truth is I have made up my mind and I want out. How do I inform him of what I want? Do I make him think it's his idea? He has been cheating for years and can't be happy, but I think he just doesn't want to be alone.

[XSurvivorX]

Hi NewYork,

Sorry to hear that this is where you're at, but I am happy for you that you seem to be moving forward with that you want.  I personally don't have experience w/ NPD as my ex has BPD, but I did convince her to be the one to file for divorce, though I was the one who demanded it (due to the degradation of our relationship).

I mean, what specifically are you concerned about with regard on how to tell him?

Are you more afraid that he will try and woo you back in, or do you think that he will see this as a joke because clearly, who would want to leave him?

If you've spoken to an attorney, maybe the best way is to serve him with the papers? Would leaving be a 'real' enough?  You could always write down all of your feelings and frustrations, and have that served with the paperwork.

Just spit'ballin here... .

[spero]

Hi there Newyork4078,

My husband has NPD and he knows I have seen an attorney and that divorce may happen, but I don't think he thinks I would actually go through with it. The truth is I have made up my mind and I want out. How do I inform him of what I want? Do I make him think it's his idea? He has been cheating for years and can't be happy, but I think he just doesn't want to be alone.

Sending you greetings! , how is your situation holding up? Perhaps could you share a little more what has transpired over the past few weeks or months leading up to your decision to seek a divorce?

Yours,
Spero