Made a bit of a booboo, but I'm also proud of myself.

[CMJ]

Had an wow moment earlier when I accidentally dialed my estranged friend by selecting the wrong contact in my phone.

Quickly cancelled the call when I realised my mistake. However she called back. I didn't answer so she sent me a text asking why I'd called. I replied that it was an accident, to ignore it and have a nice weekend. The reply I got was to delete her number.

Seems a little hypocritical to be angry about this situation when she called back (I mean why call someone when their initial contact angered you, you'd just ignore it wouldn't you?) and obviously still had my number saved in her phone too, however, in the past I'd have jaded the heck out of this and gone into full on defensive mode while trying to point out her behaviour. This time I took a breath and thought to myself this doesn't need a response, so I left it there.

That's what I'm proud about. I'm making progress.

I'm also proud that I took the time to recognise how I was feeling. My heart was racing and my anxiety went through the roof so I'm obviously not ready for us to be in contact. Not that that seems to be on the cards anyway, but it's a change in my thinking.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi CMJ.

That is good progress.  Congrats!  It is not easy to change the way we respond but you did it.  some time has since passed and I am wondering how you are doing with your anxiety now?

Keep up the good work!

[Panda39]

CMJ,

Nice job using "Wisemind" 

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0

Keep up the good work!
Panda39

[CMJ]

Some time has since passed and I am wondering how you are doing with your anxiety now?

Hello Harri

Thanks for the encouragement.
My anxiety came back down pretty quickly after deciding to not respond and I've felt fine since.

Actually, maybe not fine. 99% fine, 1% ashamed. I used to work in a horrible toxic environment for a manager that thought it was ok to tell me my autism made me a disappointing employee. Thankfully I've now left that place and feel so much better. It's only been a month but people are picking up on so many positive changes in me already, and now I've left I can see how badly that place affected me. Sadly all my interactions with my friend came while I worked there and I feel a little guilty that I wasn't able to notice sooner and react in a better manner.

[CMJ]

Nice job using "Wisemind" 

Hi Panda39

Thanks! I've always struggled to get my head around wisemind. Odd that it just suddenly clicks in to place.