Hurricanes and BPD, validation and empathy on generator power?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So, who’s been through a category IV hurricane with a pw/BPD?

Let’s hear your stories !

It’s freakin hilarious... .but it’s not?

No time for “validation and empathy” when the storm makes landfall... .are you freaking kidding me ... .

When the power grid goes down, you’ll learn just how far things will go !

And I ain’t talking about non-ethanol fuel for the generator either... .

Wow!

Yeah, let’s hear them war stories conflicted and tolerating !

Hope everyone is doing well this Saturday evening... .Red5 out ~>

[Red5]

So, who’s been through a category IV hurricane with a pw/BPD?

Let’s hear your stories !

It’s freakin hilarious... .but it’s not?

No time for “validation and empathy” when the storm makes landfall... .are you freaking kidding me ... .

When the power grid goes down, you’ll learn just how far things will go !

And I ain’t talking about non-ethanol fuel for the generator either... .

Wow!

Yeah, let’s hear them war stories conflicted and tolerating !

Hope everyone is doing well this Saturday evening... .Red5 out ~>

[GaGrl]

Red, I grew up on the Alabama Gulf Coast until age 12 and then the Florida Atlantic til university, so... .lots of hurricane experience. However, we didn't have a pwBPD in the house (thank the Lord). We had a super-controlling grandmother (uNPD/BPD) 180 miles inland who would go nutsy-crazy when a hurricane was on the way. My mother would have cut off her right hand before evacuating to her parent's house. My parents hung through Betsy, Camille, Frederick, Katrina and other sundry storms ( latest last week - Gordon at 70 mph).

It is incredibly stressful, with multiple situations that can easily deregulate a pwBPD - lack of power, restricted access to food and water, disruption of phone service, the hard work to clean up and have piles of debris sorted for FEMA to haul off - ugh!

How are you doing? Can you take breaks to mentally and emotionally rejuvenate?

Our stepdaughter evac'd Jacksonville, NC and is in Charlotte - she does not know yet of the extent of damage to her townhouse.

Praying... .

[Cat Familiar]

So glad to see you posting, Red5!     

I bet you’ve got some war stories to tell!

Cat

[Notwendy]

I was wondering about you Red. Glad to see you are OK. I guess you didn't evacuate?

[Red5]

Hello from the wind and storm surge raveged regions of eastern NC, .day four of no power... .I “smoked checked” the generator on day two, we have been taking “bucket baths” with water we ran into the claw foot tub before it hit, been spending the daze running my chainsaw to help folks out of their driveways and neighborhoods... .the husgavara 455 rancher is a great peice of gear !... .been eating off the gas grill and making do ok, .I caught plenty of rain water in our two large  trash cans so we can flush toilets as we are on well water here... .

... .BPD... .u/BPDw is up one second (literally) and then down the next... .with all that is going on, really don’t have time for it (?)... .the night it hit, I was out back with my moon beam and foul weather gear checking on things... .it was blowing well over ninety knots... .I heard screaming and thought that someone was in trouble down the street above the howl of the wind and rain... .but it was u/BPDw yelling at me at the top of her lungs from the back porch to “get back inside”... .yeah, .she was a lot of fun on Thursday night ... .I thought I was going to have to “clam shell”’ her !

We’ve been cleaning up since... .she is up and down... .wants to be in control... .wants to ask me a million questions “why” are you doing this that and the other... .we have two small trees resting on the end of the house no real damage otherwise... .every time I go to help one of the neighbors (chainsaw reaction team) she freaks out ... .

We’ll be just fine, if I don’t kill her first (just kidding)... .

We all know that BPD’ers always have to control during crazy times... .yeah one minute she’s ok, the next she’s off her rail about something completely inconsequential... .fun times !... .

I’ll write more when I can... .goodnight all !

Red5

[GaGrl]

So glad you are safe and getting out from under... .the worst we ever put up with was 8 days without power. Ugh!

Our oldest daughter lives in Jacksonville, IF - she is safe in Charlotte, but we don't know when she will be allowed back to assess damage. We are prepared to hear that the lower level of her townhouse is destroyed.

[Red5]

So glad you are safe and getting out from under... .the worst we ever put up with was 8 days without power. Ugh!

Our oldest daughter lives in Jacksonville, IF - she is safe in Charlotte, but we don't know when she will be allowed back to assess damage. We are prepared to hear that the lower level of her townhouse is destroyed.

We are in Morehead City, right up the road, highway 24 from J-Ville, I had heard that Camp Lejuene did not evacuate... .I retired there form the USMC back in 2011... .your daughter should be alright in Charlotte... .they are starting to let folks back into the beach areas, Atlantic to Imerald Isle... .of course any “low country” is to close to sea level and for flooded by the storm surge... .

I just took my evening “bucket of cold water” shower  !

Its hot and humid here again tonight, .we heard Parts of New Bern now have power... .I initially figured we would be in the dark for a little over a week probably... .

Wishing you and your daughter well!

Red5

[PeteWitsend]

We made it through Harvey last year. 

BPDw wasn't too bad, but we did evacuate after Day 3 because of her.  I was on the fence and would've stayed put (which would've been the right decision, since we never flooded or lost power).

The day we left was the day it was unclear if Harvey would move on or keep dumping buckets on us.  We left and went to San Antonio, where it was dry and sunny.  The next day we checked the weather and Harvey had moved off a bit.  Second day there, it was well to the east.   neighbors texted us pics and said nothing flooded and our house was fine.

BPDw wanted to stay and have a "vacation" but I was insistent we needed to get back to our house and there was no point wasting money on a hotel, and breakfast lunch and dinner when our home was just fine.  When she realized she lost the argument she raged for a while... .for the 1st time our oldest son (4 at the time) actually spoke up and told her she was wrong and to stop yelling. 

that threw her for a loop.   

she maintains that next time there is a hurricane, we're leaving "immediately."

so I have that fight to look forward too... .

[formflier]

Ugg... generator down.

Why not deploy the RAT and keep going?  (shhh... let's see if anyone else can identify what a RAT is?)


RED... glad you are coming through relatively OK.  I'm heading to the mountainous areas of your state later today to check on some things/people.  So far it seems like much less rain than predicted...

Hang in there Red... .

FF

[Cat Familiar]

I hope your power comes on soon, Red5. Post more when you can and let us know how you’re doing.

Cat

[Red5]

CCEC restored our power at 22:05 local!

There will be hot coffee in the kitchen for the first time since last Thursday morning ; )

RAT = ram air turbine !

www.angelfire.com/dc/jinxx1/Phantoms/F4RAT.jpg

Will post more later... .pretty wild ride

Red5

[Cat Familiar]

Yay!        

Power has returned to the world of Red5.

Many years ago, I lived off-grid (no solar panels) for eight years. It's one thing when you're not accustomed to having power, and quite another when it's part of your life.

We've had times when the power was off for nearly a week after a fire or a big storm. It's damned inconvenient.

I've rigged up a 12 volt pump, powered by solar, to pump water out of a storage tank. And we have one shower that has an on-demand heater that doesn't need power. So as long as we get a bit of sunshine, we're good. And there are 12 volt lights throughout the house.

One time after a big storm, the folks at the beginning of our country road had their power come back on within two days, while those of us just a half a mile further had to wait for a week. That was irritating.

[formflier]

Good news! Hang in there Red

[GaGrl]

We had wonderful news this afternoon! Our daughter was allowed back into Jacksonville, NC -- and her townhouse had NO FLOODING!

She has to clean out a ruined freezer/fridge, but we'll send $$$ to help with replacing all the food. But oh my! What a blessing. God is good.

[Red5]

We had wonderful news this afternoon! Our daughter was allowed back into Jacksonville, NC -- and her townhouse had NO FLOODING!

She has to clean out a ruined freezer/fridge, but we'll send $$$ to help with replacing all the food. But oh my! What a blessing. God is good.

Great News!

Tell her to be careful with the jug of spoiled milk, it’s under great pressure and may explode!... .kid you not, be careful with that thing when you pick it up to move it after it’s been sitting ina dead fridge for three-five daze!

Certainly don’t need that to happen on top of everything else !

Red5

[Red5]

All afternoon yesterday... .she was all worried about how much tree debris were being piled up in our culdesac... .some of it on the edge of our property... .she kept coming out into the front yard where I was working wanting me to tell the tree men to NOT keep driving their loader across the side yard to the huge pile... .as they were working to clear several huge trees off of the neighbors house,

I could care less, as the entire neighborhood is in this together, it’s just dirt and grass to me... .so what!

She kept on and on and on, so I eventually put up a rope I got out of the boat, and a little red flag to denote the properT line, yeah... .

You see these me took down several trees for me and I befriended them as they are not from around here and I wanted to help them out as I could, which udx wife doesn’t like... .I have let them borrow a few things the last few days they have been working our neighborhood... .a  cooler, a shovel, and my dolley to move large blocks of sawn logs... .

She is absolutely paranoid that they will steal these items, again, I could care less!... .h3ll I even bought them a case of bud and had it iced up for them when they took down the three trees off of our house!

She won’t stop, .you you you better !, she keeps telling me... .

Yesterday I’d had enough and told her to shut her mouth and go back inside... .

She rants and raves at how she thinks the neighbors are taking advantage of us by stacking and piling the three gondola railroad cars amount of debris in the street in our culdesac... .on the edge of our properT... .again... .Red5 don’t care!, stack all you want to!... .ie’ “let’s work all together to get things back to normal”... .

NO WORRIES !

I spent and hour on the cell yesterday confirming to her that the county was going to truck all the debris out of the residential streets when they have assists/assests to do so, I spoke to the county commissioner personally just to appease her!

Good gawd !

Yeah... .I’ve already had to stop her several times from making a complete A$$ of herself to our neighbors... .literally grabbing her by her arm to STOP her !

I am gong to burn our debris and I cut up all the oak for firewood and have given it all away already... .to an old woman and her family down the road from here.

She never disappoints !

Thanks for listening... .Red5

[GaGrl]

I can understand your frustration, Red... .having grown up in hurricane-land, one knows that the neighborhood pulls together after a hurricane and just gets back to normal as fast as possible.

It's not good news for your wife, but... .FEMA took at least 10 days to pick up the "green" pile of debris from my parents' house after Katrina, another 7 days to get to the plywood/roof shingles/etc. debris pile, and another 7 days to get to ruined appliances/metal.

[Cat Familiar]

Thinking about my BPD mother, there was always a hard dividing line between "us" and "them" and she didn't have a community-oriented bone in her body. It was all about how she and her family could be benefited without thinking how we could contribute to the welfare of the community.

It was very different than my dad, who was a volunteer firefighter for years. I think she just resented it when he'd go away on a fire.

I had to laugh (internally) about my husband discussing disaster preparedness in our little rural community--fortunately with only me as the audience for this paranoid rant. He had ideas about what others could do should the power grid go down for an extended period of time--kinda like what people worried about during Y2K. He figured that the neighbor and I could grow food and others could guard the road and some could divert water from the creek, etc.--everyone doing things according to their abilities. What was missing was what role he'd play in his gamed out doomsday scenario.    

Though he could easily give free legal advice to community organizations, does he even have the slightest desire to do so---noo! Yet he's full of opinions about how others should behave.

[Red5]

So yesterday afternoon me and my Son are out in the front yard “picking up”, udx wife keeps coming out to “inform” as to what “I am going to do”... .

*l want you to hitch your trailer to your truck, and park it in the street in front of the house so the neighbors can’t park their cars there anymore... .(the tree men were removing huge oaks off of their home).

*I want you to promise that “we” won’t be loaning out our trailer to any of them in case the county fails to or delays removing any of this debris... .(it is now a mountain or limbs logs and leaves).

*I want you to promise me that you are not going to offer up your chainsaw to help any of them out again, they can pay for it like we had too... .(ugh!).

*I want you to tell the tree men to STOP piling branches on our side of the curb, they can pile it in their own yards... .(as it is now there is no more room, and I offered our curb up for more space).

I told her NO! to each demand,

She got mad, then she got “madder”... .thought she was going to get lock jaw as hard as she was “frowning”... .’actually’ this is her natural facial expression these daze      

Red5

[formflier]

How goes hurricane recovery?

How goes trip to doc?

Thinking of you RED5

FF

[Red5]

How goes hurricane recovery?

How goes trip to doc?

Thinking of you RED5

FF

Mornin FF!

Ok here this morning!, we are able to get back into the office here on the air station, still much cleanup to be done, most utilities are back online now... .

... .things are better at home now   ... .sitrep follows on the other thread;

Red5

[formflier]

From personal experience... .  As life begins to return to normal, expect pent up stress to show up in all sorts of odd ways.

No way to fix it... .just sayin... .don't be shocked.

FF

[Red5]

From personal experience... .  As life begins to return to normal, expect pent up stress to show up in all sorts of odd ways.

No way to fix it... .just sayin... .don't be shocked.

FF

Roger!... .thanks for the tip !
Red5