Ended in March, just reflecting on the stormy relationship.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Looking back at it, and how I didn't pick up on all the red flags because I was blind. I thought I could save her, and if I gave more of my "Endless" care, she would reward me with her love.

She told me she was "Emotionally unstable". I knew she had depression and anxiety problems, and I thought she meant that. After our second date, I went to see her work, because that's how I met her. She kept telling me to come every day, and I never had anyone that wanted me that bad fell for it.

She soon told me about her feelings and I did too. I was finally with someone after my whole life of being alone and I was 24. She soon started telling me some deep dark personal things which made me let down my guards. I knew she wanted me more now, and we are in it for a long time.

The red flags I ignored because I was naive.
She was happy her father died, because he verbally abused her, and her mom never stood up for her. When she was with me, she would use some toxic language when talking about her co-workers, who I saw as good people that wanted to be there for her. Also, snitched on her best friend to the manager for a stupid reason.

Just 20 days after she told me how she felt, and after we set plans for the summer and the future. Which by the way, never happened because, in just 20 days, she went cold. Gave me the final silent treatment for 5 weeks, and after I managed to finally go see her because I was scared of her reaction. She was cold and distant like a predator. She told me she was merely "dating" me to see if it would work out for her, and she felt I wanted more and she couldn't give me that.

Moral of the story, if someone is emotionally unstable = BPD. They will promise you, tell you things you want to hear. In a snap, their whole identity changes, because I swear, I saw it with my own eyes.

Post discard, her co-workers, and ex-friend were extra nice to me, knowing or having an idea of what she did. Turns out, the Ex-friend was also discarded same time and told me that she knew more about her because she talked to her older best friend who she also discarded with zero explanation.

After reading online, and being here, I have picked up on the professional BPD terms. Turns out, she discarded me with a silent treatment to keep her "Trash" behavior from being smelled by closer or soon to be her victims.

All along, she warned me, and I thank her for that. BPD is hard to control even if they promise you, or are aware of their problem. It's like their brain is structured this way. This needs a lot of therapy and she told me her therapist is mean and doesn't understand her.

The problem is, her therapist understood her well, it's just BPD makes people think that they are being attacked when people try to help. That is the reason my good friends, we were pushed while they choose toxic people to be close to them.

Well, I take pride in being a genuine person who loved and sadly still love her. Take pride because if you weren't a good person, a BPD would have not picked you because they know they will never match our genuine effort, and due to their imagination, we will find out they are flawed and leave. That's they the reason they eventually leave.

Their imagination is actually their reality.

[mraa90]

Looking back at it, and how I didn't pick up on all the red flags because I was blind. I thought I could save her, and if I gave more of my "Endless" care, she would reward me with her love.

She told me she was "Emotionally unstable". I knew she had depression and anxiety problems, and I thought she meant that. After our second date, I went to see her work, because that's how I met her. She kept telling me to come every day, and I never had anyone that wanted me that bad fell for it.

She soon told me about her feelings and I did too. I was finally with someone after my whole life of being alone and I was 24. She soon started telling me some deep dark personal things which made me let down my guards. I knew she wanted me more now, and we are in it for a long time.

The red flags I ignored because I was naive.
She was happy her father died, because he verbally abused her, and her mom never stood up for her. When she was with me, she would use some toxic language when talking about her co-workers, who I saw as good people that wanted to be there for her. Also, snitched on her best friend to the manager for a stupid reason.

Just 20 days after she told me how she felt, and after we set plans for the summer and the future. Which by the way, never happened because, in just 20 days, she went cold. Gave me the final silent treatment for 5 weeks, and after I managed to finally go see her because I was scared of her reaction. She was cold and distant like a predator. She told me she was merely "dating" me to see if it would work out for her, and she felt I wanted more and she couldn't give me that.

Moral of the story, if someone is emotionally unstable = BPD. They will promise you, tell you things you want to hear. In a snap, their whole identity changes, because I swear, I saw it with my own eyes.

Post discard, her co-workers, and ex-friend were extra nice to me, knowing or having an idea of what she did. Turns out, the Ex-friend was also discarded same time and told me that she knew more about her because she talked to her older best friend who she also discarded with zero explanation.

After reading online, and being here, I have picked up on the professional BPD terms. Turns out, she discarded me with a silent treatment to keep her "Trash" behavior from being smelled by closer or soon to be her victims.

All along, she warned me, and I thank her for that. BPD is hard to control even if they promise you, or are aware of their problem. It's like their brain is structured this way. This needs a lot of therapy and she told me her therapist is mean and doesn't understand her.

The problem is, her therapist understood her well, it's just BPD makes people think that they are being attacked when people try to help. That is the reason my good friends, we were pushed while they choose toxic people to be close to them.

Well, I take pride in being a genuine person who loved and sadly still love her. Take pride because if you weren't a good person, a BPD would have not picked you because they know they will never match our genuine effort, and due to their imagination, we will find out they are flawed and leave. That's they the reason they eventually leave.

Their imagination is actually their reality.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey mraa, I'm sorry to hear what you've been through, yet in some ways you are fortunate that it only lasted 20 days before she gave you the cold shoulder.  It may not feel like it now, but you could say that she did you a favor.  Many of us here, including me, were in protracted BPD relationships that went on for years and years (16-year marriage for me) of unhappiness.  From my perspective, you are way ahead of the game.  Right, you were naive, but you will be that much stronger going forward, which in my view is a positive thing.

LuckyJim