I've been married to a person with BPD for 48 years and am desperately lonely

[bobs45]

Hi all.  I've been married to a BPD for 48 years.  I have three wonderful children and 9 grandchildren.  For some reason the stress of this has been killing me for the last year.  She won't acknowledge any issue.  I am desperately lonely and crave the gentle connection to anormal woman.  I won't leave or abandon my wife. So I am in what I think is an intractable situation.  Any advice?

Thank you.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi bob45 and

48 years is a long time. i do not doubt your investment, or your love. your circumstances (intractable situation) are ones that many here can relate to, understand, and appreciate. and things can get better. there is hope.

what happened in the last year? what are the issues as you see them, that she wont acknowledge?

[Radcliff]

Let me join once removed in welcoming you!  Congratulations on raising three children and on the grandchildren.

I'll join once removed in his question about your last year, but also extend that to ask about the rest of the relationship.  Were things steady before that?  Up and down?  Declining over the years, or with key events?

bpdfamily is an excellent community in which to learn coping tools to make your life better.  With as much experience as you have, I bet we can learn a few things from you, but I also bet there's a lot of worthwhile learning and support for you here.  I came here 23 years into my marriage this community has been life changing.

RC