hi cburk, and
im glad you reached out, and i hope youll make yourself at home here as part of the family. a strong support system is really critical, and this place is a great benefit/compliment to a good therapist.
However, recently our relationship has been extremely strained because of some false allegations made by an ex girlfriend of mine against me. My biggest fear is that my girlfriend will be leaving me due to these allegations and her intense emotions.
youre safe here, if you want to tell us more about the allegations; it will help. what are the chances, do you think, of your ex escalating matters with the allegations?
I do my best to be completely honest with her, but again, due to these allegations, I've been paranoid and afraid to talk to her about these things. What I'm asking is if anyone here would be able to point me in the right direction on how to approach her?
honestly, in the long run, as i can tell you along with many others here, tends to be the best policy. delivery/approach can be a challenge, and our partners can be volatile and reactive... .for example maybe something is taken well at first, followed by acting out, or maybe things explode at first and cool down. we can help you work on an approach.
I have a few bad habits that cause some strain in our relationship. Again, these habits were learned due to an abusive relationship of mine. I've got a habit of running away when things get even remotely tense.
youre in familiar company, a lot of us have insecure or avoidant attachment styles of our own. the tools here can definitely help. it takes practice to change habits but its like letting weight drop off of our shoulders when we really make that shift. what sorts of things are you learning (or unlearning) in therapy?
