Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) vs BPD or NPD

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My x GF, I have given up and broken up 3rd and last time, but she has not give up yet. It was emotionally abusive for me and she now admits that and attributes it all to PMDD. I'm done as I physically cannot take it anymore. I see patterns of BPD/ND and trying to understand. She has no diagnosis, self diagnosed... .gynecologist told her to go to a psychiatrist. Instead she is working with a chinese herbalist.

PMDD or BPD/ND? PMDD does align with a lot of her behavior where she'd change on a dime to Hyde and a week or so later to Jekyl again. I still think in between she would dig into me in ways she knew would hurt me. She was amazing and awful.

I am trying to gain perspective as I don't see PMDD on this site attributed and appears to have outcroppings of the disorders on this site. Is it even possible in your experience or is there generally a longer term childhood type issue lurking.

[lookslikeaduck]

My x GF, I have given up and broken up 3rd and last time, but she has not give up yet. It was emotionally abusive for me and she now admits that and attributes it all to PMDD. I'm done as I physically cannot take it anymore. I see patterns of BPD/ND and trying to understand. She has no diagnosis, self diagnosed... .gynecologist told her to go to a psychiatrist. Instead she is working with a chinese herbalist.

PMDD or BPD/ND? PMDD does align with a lot of her behavior where she'd change on a dime to Hyde and a week or so later to Jekyl again. I still think in between she would dig into me in ways she knew would hurt me. She was amazing and awful.

I am trying to gain perspective as I don't see PMDD on this site attributed and appears to have outcroppings of the disorders on this site. Is it even possible in your experience or is there generally a longer term childhood type issue lurking.

[Skip]

To help members follow... .Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a very severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which can cause many emotional and physical symptoms every month during the week or two before you start your period. It is sometimes referred to as 'severe PMS'.

Emotional experiences:
    mood swings
    feeling upset or tearful
    feeling angry or irritable
    feelings of anxiety
    feeling hopeless
    feelings of tension or being on edge
    difficulty concentrating
    feeling overwhelmed
    lack of energy
    less interest in activities you normally enjoy
    suicidal feelings.

Physical and behavioural experiences:
    breast tenderness or swelling
    pain in your muscles and joints
    headaches
    feeling bloated
    changes in your appetite such as overeating or having specific food cravings
    sleep problems
    finding it hard to avoid or resolve conflicts with people around you
    becoming very upset if you feel that others are rejecting you.

More info... .

[Enabler]

Hey lookslikeaduck,

I spent 19yrs believing my wife suffered from PMDD as did she, somehow it didn't quit fit completely although her symptoms worsened when she was on the Mini pill instead of the combined pill for 6m back in 1998... .however... .BPD fitted soo much better once I discovered it 18m ago. Here's how I believe how the 2 react:

BPD is an emotional regulation disorder
During the pre-menstrual period a woman has heightened emotions
If you imagine a Pint glass is a persons ability to 'hold' their emotions before 'dysregulating' (spilling over)... .PMDD or PMT in general is just another volume of liquid which gets her to the point of dysregulation that much easier. It's cumulative. Add PMT or PMDD to the mix and she is more likely to dysregulate during that period than other times... .however... .and here's the thing, she dysregulates severely at other times as well.
Coping mechanisms she has in place to deal with those dysregulations are poor i.e. not going for a run or reading a book, more like hitting you, cutting, threatening suicide, cutting your clothes up, rage, drinking, sex with randoms... .etc etc etc etc

So, the 2 can be co-morbid clouding the issue, increasing the symptoms at times making it appear to be 'the thing' rather than the underlying issue which is emotional control and generalise emotional dysregulation. PMT or PMDD becomes a distraction which doesn't quite tick all the boxes.

This is my theory... .no one else's, but I feel it fits within the general concepts and theories of BPD and PMT/PMDD.

Enabler

[lookslikeaduck]

Helps a bunch... mood instability is exactly what I experience from her. That is my concern, I saw her at times attack me and couldn't associate it with the timing of PMS. But the PMDD timing was right on with symptoms:

body would go cold
could take no negativity, wanted to argue
couldn't sleep and would keep me up, trying to pour love into her which was very hard to satisfy
suicide, threats of cutting, head slamming, pull knife on self.
Snap out of it in an instant... .and be positive and sweet again.

So in the end you left? All I hear is people leave these people. She for one won't even go to Dr. because doesn't want meds. She thinks herbs, diet will change. I have no confidence in that.

[lookslikeaduck]

In regards to yourself, did you see patterns in yourself where you were drawn to this type of person? My last two GF's now were potentially labeled as BPD by my counselor. (a female).

[Enabler]

Morning lookslikeaduck,

In answer to your question I did not leave. I stayed, clung on and in between having moments of pointless clarity regarding my situation believed that it was my fault the relationship had its difficulties. I say pointless because even with full clarity knowing I wasn’t wrong was only any benefit if my W could see her own culpability... .which of course she couldn’t. I was placed in position where her accepting responsibility for her side of the equation was not going to happen. My W has a replacement lined up and is moving through the divorce process at a glacial pace. She has accused me of emotional and verbal abuse.

I found BPD 18m ago and cried having finally found something that explained my reality for the previous 20 years. I only wish I had found it earlier in my life with her. The problem is, she will never see her own chaos whilst I’m acting chaotically as a reaction to her behaviour.

She’s the best and the worst, currently she worse than the worst.

Enabler

[lookslikeaduck]

I'm sorry to hear all that, I know the pain. Thank you for sharing here.