When you do all the right things but still...

[AlwaysAnxious]

It's been a bit since I've written. Things have been SO much better and for that, I'm thankful.  She has self diagnosed as BPD which is good - but still won't get help.  She is 27/f.  I love her so much and it's difficult to see her self destructing.

However we still have splits.  Those splits are terrible -- mean, accusing words, getting out of my car (tries when it's moving) to walk home, and won't tell me where she is but sends me texts about being lost, seeing animals, fear.  These always start at night. Always.  I usually end up sitting outside her house and waiting for her to finally say she is home (sometimes she doesn't and I just end up going home).

Then she doesn't talk to me for a few days.
We work at the same company, different departments, and she rides in with me but today, she is on day 3 of not talking to me and I have no idea if she needs a ride tomorrow.  The other days she worked from home.

I just don't know what/how to do this.  Any suggestions?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders