adult child with BPD

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi everyone,
I am joining this group because I am completely drained and feeling incredibly isolated. I am 69 years old, a widow, and living in Spain. For the past 15 years, I have been riding the unpredictable rollercoaster of my 37 daughter's suspected BPD.
I am completely exhausted by the constant moods, the endless dramas, the ups and downs, and being the dumping ground for everything negative in her life, asking for money. Mostly, I hold my tongue to keep the peace, but the emotional labor is becoming too much to bear at this stage in my life.
We just had another blowout over something as simple as me mentioning she left her car headlights on. She completely twisted it into a massive criticism, accused me of calling her a "nasty person" in the past (which I have never, ever done).  I have hit the wall.
I have a therapist and friends, but my friends don't have children and don't understand how agonizingly difficult it is to set boundaries with your own kid. To make matters harder, her brother has hit his own wall of exhaustion and completely refuses to hear anything about her anymore, leaving the entire emotional burden on me. Her father (my ex husband) has little or no contact with her.
I am heartbroken, angry, and so tired of walking on eggshells. I am hoping to connect with other parents who understand the crushing guilt of trying to step back, and how lonely it feels when your family shuts down around the issue.

[Naild]

Hi everyone,
I am joining this group because I am completely drained and feeling incredibly isolated. I am 69 years old, a widow, and living in Spain. For the past 15 years, I have been riding the unpredictable rollercoaster of my 37 daughter's suspected BPD.
I am completely exhausted by the constant moods, the endless dramas, the ups and downs, and being the dumping ground for everything negative in her life, asking for money. Mostly, I hold my tongue to keep the peace, but the emotional labor is becoming too much to bear at this stage in my life.
We just had another blowout over something as simple as me mentioning she left her car headlights on. She completely twisted it into a massive criticism, accused me of calling her a "nasty person" in the past (which I have never, ever done).  I have hit the wall.
I have a therapist and friends, but my friends don't have children and don't understand how agonizingly difficult it is to set boundaries with your own kid. To make matters harder, her brother has hit his own wall of exhaustion and completely refuses to hear anything about her anymore, leaving the entire emotional burden on me. Her father (my ex husband) has little or no contact with her.
I am heartbroken, angry, and so tired of walking on eggshells. I am hoping to connect with other parents who understand the crushing guilt of trying to step back, and how lonely it feels when your family shuts down around the issue.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders