WELL SHE IS IN JAIL

[Kind of Alone]

My daughter went over to her ex’s house and tried to give him a birthday present. He didn’t want to talk to her, so he rejected her and she doesn’t like rejection. He told her to leave she wouldn’t leave. He called me asked me to tell her to leave. I told her to leave, several times!!! I told her she should not be there. Well then he told her he would call the cops.  She was not deteured but when he actully did call she started breaking everything and throwing things through his window so vandalize his house.  Then of course she drove away.  I tracked her to see where she was going.  She went to her house then headed back to his house.  I alerted him that she was on her way back. We she saw the cops were there she drove away of course didn’t want to get caught.  To be honest I was watching where she was going because to be truthful I didn't want her coming to my house to deal with it again as I have forever.  I’m tired of her getting out of things, so I called the cops and told them when she was they went and picked her up. I went to meet the police to get her keys and so i had to see her, that was SOOOO hard.  She begged me to bell her out, and I told her I would not that she needed to learn responsibility for her actions. I held her head in my hands through the police window and told her I loved her but this time I can't help her. 

*back story, she just got home from rehab on June 1 and I'm pretty sure that she did this for me so she could stay in my good graces and continue to minuplate me and she did. 

The crazy thing is I'm numb about it.  It seams everytime another episode happens I get more numb and less reactive. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Pook075]

Wow, I'm so sorry...that's brutally hard.  I was in that position a few times where I had to call the police and it was never easy.

You are 100% right though, she has to learn right from wrong.  The guy she was dating can't be a complete jerk if he called you to mediate.  It's a heartbreaking situation for everyone and I hope she figures some things out while she's in jail.  Depending on the state, it could be quite a long time or they could send her home due to overcrowding.

The numbness you feel is a blessing and a curse.  On one hand, you cope better because you're not completely stressed out.  But on the other hand, you're repressing emotions that will eventually resurface.  You have to deal with it, sooner or later, in order to actually move forward in a healthy way. 

And hopefully you can see that I'm saying that lovingly...no judgement here because I went through the exact same stuff.  Years later, it finally hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to process everything all over again.