Is there really hope

[hurtingmom68]

I've known that BPD was a possible diagnosis for my young adult daughter for a little while, but so was a number of other ones, including bi-polar II.  Also, throw in the big time impact of drug use and it clouded a lot up as to whether she was struggling with the long time trauma that was likely behind this all or was it just that the drug abuse got so bad that we didn't know the real her.  I've been working on my own self for several years - codependency, learning to take better care of myself, implement boundaries, etc. 

All the while, I have also been trying to provide support to my loved one, including the huge monetary and emotional expenses you can rack up.  I've not given up hope, but lately I've been struggling with maintaining it.  I know I can only control my own self, behaviors, feelings, etc.  Of that I am quite certain even though it took me a while to really get that point that should have been so obvious.  Now, she is at a residential treatment program and I'm finding out there isn't much going on there in the way of helping her with trauma, etc.  I also wonder where she will go to next as she hasn't been able to get a job in some time.  Will she really do the work necessary to find some healing and be able to live a productive live?  Will our relationship ever be healed?  Those are just some of the thoughts inside my head right now and it feels good just putting it down. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[once removed]

hi hurtingmom68, and

i want to tell you that yes, there is hope. im glad you reached out to us, and i hope that youll make yourself at home here as part of the family. while things can definitely improve, experts will tell you a strong support system for yourself is critical. the people here get it.

Now, she is at a residential treatment program and I'm finding out there isn't much going on there in the way of helping her with trauma, etc. 

can you tell us more about the program and its purpose? we have a story here (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=120563.msg1188708#msg1188708) from one of our moms whos child went to a residential treatment program. while i dont think it addressed trauma, it taught her skills that remained with her for life, so it was a very important turning point.

[Only Human]

Hi hurtingmom68 

I join once removed in welcoming you to BPD Family and I'm also here to say, yes - there is hope.

I look forward to getting to know you and how we can best support you.

~ OH