To go no contact or not.

[Depression = 72% of members]

My husband and I have about a year or two before we move to somewhere my uBPD mother in law can’t contact us. As of right now she knows where we live, however, she lives hours away and can’t drive.. Yet (lessons). we recently stopped talking to her. I’m done walking on eggshells. She recently went way too far, by telling my husband to watch out for me taking a life insurance policy on him. And threatening with cps, which is an out right threat she knows we’re good parents. We’ve haven’t talked to her in about 2 months, she still texts my husband everyday.  She has a history of violence(not recent) so I’m proceeding with caution.

   So my question is should we keep her at bay and try to avoid further outbursts by continuing to play her game, and keeping the talk very light until we move, Or should we continue going no contact, hoping things don’t escalate.

How did things go before/after you went no contact? Did they try to destroy your life? I’m sick of dealing with the manipulation.

Thanks, any insight is great

[Seven8]

My husband and I have about a year or two before we move to somewhere my uBPD mother in law can’t contact us. As of right now she knows where we live, however, she lives hours away and can’t drive.. Yet (lessons). we recently stopped talking to her. I’m done walking on eggshells. She recently went way too far, by telling my husband to watch out for me taking a life insurance policy on him. And threatening with cps, which is an out right threat she knows we’re good parents. We’ve haven’t talked to her in about 2 months, she still texts my husband everyday.  She has a history of violence(not recent) so I’m proceeding with caution.

   So my question is should we keep her at bay and try to avoid further outbursts by continuing to play her game, and keeping the talk very light until we move, Or should we continue going no contact, hoping things don’t escalate.

How did things go before/after you went no contact? Did they try to destroy your life? I’m sick of dealing with the manipulation.

Thanks, any insight is great

[Harri]

I am not sure anyone here can advise you on this.   

If there is a history of violence and she is threatening you then I would have as little contact as possible with strict rules and boundaries in place if you ever do have contact.

How has she been violent towards you and your husband?

I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

[Turkish]

What's her history with violence? You,  your husband,  your kids? 

It ruffles my fur to hear about CPS threats. My mother never made them,  but I heard about her thoughts from her former neighbor over a year later.  My then S6 and D4 were sleeping in the same room,  and my mom told her,  "CPS might not like that." It really pissed me off.  She was projecting her own abusive childhood onto my family.  Yes, my children are her family, but when my primary pack is threatened for no reason,  the boundaries slam down.