I’m tired of this peak a boo game , how to deal with it?

[problemsolver]

I can’t 100 percent say she has BPD but it’s anywhere from BPD/NPD to just overall mentally unstable.

Every few weeks maybe a month and half or so , she may message me , start unblocking me on social media etc etc and this shows “ she’s open for normal conversation “.

Last week she messages out of the blue after all the crazy threats , name calling , putting me down. She send me a funny picture saying “ I miss you “ . A “ meme” to be exact. She then wants to meet up , have sex , etc etc .. it only took about a week to be back to being blocked , threatened, put down etc etc . We never actually ended up “ meeting up or having sex “ as she “ changed her mind “

I’m tired of the short burst of her re entering , only to end up putting me down , blocking me , etc etc .. I don’t understand the point . During this last “ no contact “ I was literally just focusing on myself , I didn’t try messaging her , I didn’t look at her Instagram , Facebook etc but now here I am feeling anxious , wanting to confront her , defend myself after she’s called me all these names , I’m a psycho etc etc .( Which in reality will just make me look bad I know and validate her name calling ) ..if I’m such a bad guy in her eyes  I don’t understand why she is always unblocking me and wanting to communicate

How do you deal with the constant jumping back and forth ?

Thanks

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[Harri]

Hi.   All that back and forth is confusing and hurtful and I am sorry you are experiencing it.

How do you deal with the constant jumping back and forth ?

I would start by looking at what you want.  Do you want to get back together with her?  If so what are you hoping for?

I think you should take a look at the way your relationship was, what the deal breakers were for you, if you think you can get back into a relationship with her and have things be different or if it will be more of the same.

I know I am not directly answering your question here.    I guess what I am saying is that instead of figuring out what she wants and what her actions mean, that you should take a realistic look at you, what you want and what it means that you are willing to get back with her.  Work on that here and you will know what to do with all the back and forth because you will know what you want.