How different Myers Briggs types react to stress Another good article

[formflier]

How Each Myers-Briggs® Type Reacts to Stress

I thought this was really neat.  I can see that many of the repetitive conflicts my wife and I have are based on this. What do you guys see in your relationships?  What ideas for change does this article give you? Best,

FF

[formflier]

I'm an ESTJ

ESTJ – The Supervisor
What stresses out an ESTJ:
– Being in an environment that is in disarray
– Frequent disruptions
– Irrational behavior
– Being surrounded by (or guilty of) incompetence
– Unexpected changes
– Lack of control
– Laziness in others
– Not having their strongly held values validated
– Guilt over being critical towards others
– Dealing too long with abstract or theoretical concepts
– Being in a highly-charged emotional environment for too long

When overwhelmed by stress, ESTJ’s often feel isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. When under stress, they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others. If they are under frequent, chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function; introverted feeling. When this happens, they can develop a “martyr complex”. The ESTJ will be uncharacteristically emotional, withdraw from others, become hypersensitive about their relationships, and misinterpret tiny, insignificant details into personal attacks. Physically, they may feel tension headaches, and neck or shoulder aches from tension in their body.

How to help an ESTJ experiencing stress:
– Give them some time to be left alone during and immediately after an incident.
– Avoid directly attacking the problem right away.
– Help them break down larger projects into smaller pieces.
– Listen to them. Let them talk it out.
– After some time of listening, discuss information or ideas that could lead to solutions.
– Validate their feelings.
– Don’t be overly-sympathetic.
– Don’t respond emotionally.

My wife is an INFP.

INFP – The Healer
What stresses out an INFP:
– Rigidity in rules and timelines
– Having values violated
– Not enough time alone. Too much extraverting.
– Too many demands on their time
– Small-talk
– A lack of authenticity from others
– Having their creativity stifled
– Having to focus too extensively on sensory/concrete details
– Criticism or confrontation
– Fear that they might lose someone or something (relationship/task, etc,..)

When under stress, an INFP gets lost in internal turmoil. They feel caught between pleasing others and maintaining their own integrity and taking care of their well-being. Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial tendencies,  leaves them confused about who they really are. They feel lost and perplexed during stressful times; and as stress builds they can fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted thinking. When this happens, they will do things that are typically out of character. They may become obsessed with fixing perceived problems, and righting wrongs. They may blurt out hostile thoughts or engage in destructive fantasies directed at just about anyone available. They also may have biting sarcasm and cynicism. They may become aggressively critical to others and themselves, dwelling on all the “facts” necessary to support their overwhelming sense of failure.

How to help an INFP experiencing stress:
– Give them space and time alone to sort out their feelings.
– Validate their feelings.
– Remind them of their strengths.
– Don’t give them advice. This will only make them feel worse.
– Let them “get away” from it all.
– Exercise can help. However, with these types it’s best not to suggest it when they are stressed, but after, as a solution.
– Forgive them if they’ve been overly critical while stressed.
– Let them work on a project they’ve been interested in, but maybe have been too busy to spend time on.

I highlighted the things that jumped out at me from my relationship.  Best,

FF

[Enabler]

"They feel lost and perplexed during stressful times; and as stress builds they can fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted thinking. When this happens, they will do things that are typically out of character. They may become obsessed with fixing perceived problems, and righting wrongs. They may blurt out hostile thoughts or engage in destructive fantasies directed at just about anyone available. They also may have biting sarcasm and cynicism. They may become aggressively critical to others and themselves, dwelling on all the “facts” necessary to support their overwhelming sense of failure."

So that's where that comes from in my W!

[Enabler]

Can we assume that these behaviours are amplified when someone is emotionally sensitive?

[Longterm]

INFJ – The Counselor

What stresses out an INFJ:
– Having to focus too much on sensory/concrete details
– An overload of sensory stimulation or noise
– Interruptions
– Distress within a close relationship
– Having their values violated
– Not enough alone time. Too much extraverting.
– Working with closed-minded people
– Lack of appreciation or understanding
– Unfamiliar environments with overwhelming amounts of details
– Having plans disrupted
– Not having a clear direction
– Lack of harmony
– Criticism and conflict
– Not being able to use their intuition or envision the future
– Having to focus too much on the present

When under stress, the INFJ feels fragmented or lost. They feel like they can’t be themselves, and feel an urge to act a part to “survive” or fit in. This disassociation can cause physical symptoms for the INFJ, like headaches, IBS, or nausea. The repressed feelings they’re holding onto can cause them to become immobilized. If they are under chronic extreme stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted sensing. When this happens, they may engage in indulgent, self-destructive habits like binge-eating, watching too much television, over-exercising, or drinking too much. This often feels like an out-of-body experience to them. What they do provides no pleasure, but feels somewhat robotic and out of control. After this occurs, they dwell in self-hatred, falling even more into guilt over what they’ve done. They may become uncharacteristically angry and quick-tempered, unreasonable, and irrational. They may become obsessed with details in their outer world; obsessively cleaning or doing housework. They stumble over their words, and their intense feelings may eventually lead them to a state of complete exhaustion.

How to help an INFJ experiencing stress:
– Give them space.
– Reduce sensory stimulation; music, interruptions, TV, etc,..
– Let them express their thoughts and feelings.
– Understand that they may be irrational. Don’t judge them.
– Don’t give advice. This will only stress them out further.
– Let them take a break from some of their responsibilities
– Encourage them to spend some time in nature, walking or reading a book.
– Take a walk with them if they want company.
– Encourage their less serious side, and let them relieve emotional tension by letting them cry through a sappy movie or novel of some sort.
– Be forgiving if they’ve been overly harsh or critical while under stress. Chances are, they will feel very guilty about it.

This is all very true for me and it highlights the fact that i need more alone time and need to find ways to have a break at times from things that are going on.

LT.

[GaGrl]

I thought the physical manifestations of stress in each type were interesting.

FF, for the ESTJ, do you find you hold the stress in the years and shoulders?

[Still Here]

For me the top two stressers are apparently:

 Criticism or confrontation
 Feeling out of control

So ... yeah ...  That's great news.  Explains a lot however.

[Red5]

I went through the eval yesterday… I have before,  … yesterday I too came up as INFP (Healer).  

So FF wife is an INFP too, that's very interesting to me  !

( source https://www.verywellmind.com/infp-a-profile-of-the-idealist-personality-type-2795987#key-infp-characteristics )

Key INFP Characteristics (?)

INFPs tend to be introverted, quiet, and reserved. Being in social situations tends to drain their energy and they prefer interacting with a select group of close friends. While they like to be alone, this should not necessarily be confused with shyness. Instead, it simply means that INFPs gain energy from spending time alone. On the other hand, they have to expend energy in social situations.

INFPs typically rely on intuition and are more focused on the big picture rather than the nitty-gritty details. They can be quite meticulous about things they really care about or projects they are working on, but tend to ignore mundane or boring details.

INFPs place an emphasis on personal feelings and their decisions are more influenced by these concerns rather than by objective information.

When it comes to making decisions, INFPs like to keep their options open. They often delay making important decisions just in case something about the situation changes. When decisions are made, they are usually based on personal values rather than logic.

… but wait, there more !

INFPs are some of the most insightful, deep-thinking Idealists of all the personality types. They are quick to listen, slow to speak, and generous in their compassion towards others. They rely on their masterful Introverted Feeling (Fi) to form a strong set of internal values, and to empathize deeply with others. They also use Extraverted Intuition (Ne), which helps them to see numerous perspectives and creative outlets for the future. INFPs can be iconic writers, groundbreaking musicians, empathetic counselors, and innovative thinkers. If you look at famous INFPs you’ll find a plethora of talented individuals; J.R.R. Tolkien, A.A. Milne, Edgar Allan Poe, and Vincent Van Gogh are just a few!


WoW !  

What stresses out an INFP(?):
– Rigidity in rules and timelines  
– Having values violated  
– Not enough time alone. Too much extraverting.  
– Too many demands on their time  
– Small-talk
– A lack of authenticity from others  
– Having their creativity stifled  
– Having to focus too extensively on sensory/concrete details  
– Criticism or confrontation  
– Fear that they might lose someone or something (relationship/task, etc,..)  

That's pretty close… yeah, that's me!

Good Thread FF!

Red5

[Red5]

Hmmmm, I took the test again...”INFJ” this time,

(source  https://introvertdear.com/news/infp-or-infj-7-ways-to-tell-them-apart/)... “On the surface, INFPs and INFJs are very similar. They’re both described as idealistic, moralistic, misunderstood, and empathic, among other things. Because of these shared descriptions, it’s not uncommon for INFJs to mistype as INFPs, and vice versa. I, for one, thought I was an INFJ when I’m actually an INFP. The more I learned about INFJs and INFPs, the more confident I became in identifying my true type.”

Hmmm, should I try again tomorrow after I rest, and have had my morning coffee?

Red5

[GaGrl]

Red, there is a continuum for each duo. What most tests don't show you is how close or far you are from the line. Your J and P could be close to center, meaning you have a balance on that measure. On the other hand, you might be quite strongly N .

Also, you can take the test with a particular environment in mind (say...work), and that can affect your measures.