Starting to learn to breathe

[Depression = 72% of members]

So ALOT has happened and let’s just say WAKE UP CALL big time.

I found out that my daughters bf got her drugs he is an EX BF now! It was really bad and we got her through the withdrawals and believe it or not my son called to talk to his sister. He of course had a very serious conversation with her and confessed to her why he got clean nearly 2 yrs ago now and that drugs and that kind of life aren’t worth losing her life.  He told her he loved her and he told me he loved me.

Unfortunately that was the last we heard of him and it’s going on 5 weeks now. When everything happened to my daughter it brought me to my knees. I decided right then and there no more worrying about my son and what he is and is not going to do. I told him that as well and also told him I had contacted the baby mama and told her I wouldn’t be able to pick his daughter every other weekend anymore.  I will however get her once a month all weekend for all of us to spend time with her.

My sons best friends mom is my best friend and she let my son have it about his responsibility for his daughter and stop putting everything on your mother. Well when all this happened of course I was under enormous amount of stress and ended up in the hospital. I had a heart attack 6 yrs ago and they thought I was trying to do the same thing again. Thankfully it was not another heart attack, but I do have to go see a cardiologist very soon actually within 2 weeks there was damage done to my heart.

Yes my son was told of my condition and no I did not hear from him. His best friend said his wife wouldn’t let him come see me. Also same thing was said about him coming to see his sister as well. I said I really didn’t want to hear his excuses anymore, because if he really wanted to he’d make his daughter and his family apart of his life. He is ALLOWING his wife to control him so it’s on him really no one else.

Anyway just wanted to update y’all and let you know things had changed, but not where my sons involved just how I’m handling things now. I’m focusing on my daughter, my husband and myself. We all get to see our sweet sunshine (my granddaughter) very soon. My daughter is in therapy and we are working towards helping her overcome her issues and we are working on our own as well.

All my family and friends that know about my son and daughter situation text to ask “are you breathing” when everything went down I was being told by them all for me to just breathe. So I’m going to leave you with this thought when things get super hard to handle.

JUST BREATHE <3 love to you all

[Mickey47]

So ALOT has happened and let’s just say WAKE UP CALL big time.

I found out that my daughters bf got her drugs he is an EX BF now! It was really bad and we got her through the withdrawals and believe it or not my son called to talk to his sister. He of course had a very serious conversation with her and confessed to her why he got clean nearly 2 yrs ago now and that drugs and that kind of life aren’t worth losing her life.  He told her he loved her and he told me he loved me.

Unfortunately that was the last we heard of him and it’s going on 5 weeks now. When everything happened to my daughter it brought me to my knees. I decided right then and there no more worrying about my son and what he is and is not going to do. I told him that as well and also told him I had contacted the baby mama and told her I wouldn’t be able to pick his daughter every other weekend anymore.  I will however get her once a month all weekend for all of us to spend time with her.

My sons best friends mom is my best friend and she let my son have it about his responsibility for his daughter and stop putting everything on your mother. Well when all this happened of course I was under enormous amount of stress and ended up in the hospital. I had a heart attack 6 yrs ago and they thought I was trying to do the same thing again. Thankfully it was not another heart attack, but I do have to go see a cardiologist very soon actually within 2 weeks there was damage done to my heart.

Yes my son was told of my condition and no I did not hear from him. His best friend said his wife wouldn’t let him come see me. Also same thing was said about him coming to see his sister as well. I said I really didn’t want to hear his excuses anymore, because if he really wanted to he’d make his daughter and his family apart of his life. He is ALLOWING his wife to control him so it’s on him really no one else.

Anyway just wanted to update y’all and let you know things had changed, but not where my sons involved just how I’m handling things now. I’m focusing on my daughter, my husband and myself. We all get to see our sweet sunshine (my granddaughter) very soon. My daughter is in therapy and we are working towards helping her overcome her issues and we are working on our own as well.

All my family and friends that know about my son and daughter situation text to ask “are you breathing” when everything went down I was being told by them all for me to just breathe. So I’m going to leave you with this thought when things get super hard to handle.

JUST BREATHE <3 love to you all

[Notwendy]

Wow, what a shock and I am sorry your family is going through this.

I decided right then and there no more worrying about my son

I think this was a good decision. I know it is easier said than done. I think a part of you will always be in parent mode- I think this is inevitable. We don't stop loving our children. But I think you have come to the realization that your worrying doesn't change his decisions and it doesn't help you.

Drug addiction for one member can lead to therapy for the entire family. I don't know if you have considered 12 step groups like Alanon, CODA- they do help family members "let go" emotionally while still loving the family member. I hope that your daughter will recover quickly and not ever get involved like this again.

As to your son, he's got a path ahead of him- one that you can't control but I hope that you continue to take  care of you. I think it is great that you have boundaries on being the available babysitter but still designate time for your grandbaby.

[Kwamina]

Hi Mickey47

Sorry to hear about everything that has been going on.

How is your daughter doing now?

You also had your own quite scary health situation, especially considering your previous health problems. How is your health now? Did you go to see that cardiologist?

He is ALLOWING his wife to control him so it’s on him really no one else.

Yes, this is the sad truth about this situation. No matter what his wife says or does, your son is an adult with a mind of his own. He is choosing to behave this way.

Indeed, just breathe

The Board Parrot

[Mickey47]

To Notwendy and Kwamina

Yes it was very hard to let go, but I did it and I continue to just focus on my daughter, husband and myself. I’ve started going to Bible study on Wednesday at my friends house and it feels really good to do that. I actually got to see my son one Wednesday night, because he comes to get his best friend to go to work every night. He actually hugged me and his sister told us he loved us and we talked a bit.

He told me why he hadn’t been getting my messages, phone calls and voicemails. He said he found me on his blocked list on his phone. Now we all know exactly how that happened his wife got into his phone and settings and block my husband, daughter and me oh and his baby mama. Now of course when I asked “oh really and how do you suppose that happened?” His answer made me want to shake him till he told the truth.

He said “I don’t know maybe when it’s in my pocket I accidentally did it somehow” I gave him a look like do I have stupid written across my forehead come on! But I didn’t say that I just said “hmm yeah okay whatever” but see here again he is ALLOWING this behavior so it’s all on him.

I just have to breath through the lies and move forward and I do. Notwendy yes I have thought about Alanon, but right now I’m very focused on my daughter, but I am taking care of myself. No I haven’t seen a cardiologist yet, but that’s in the works for me to do next paycheck.

My daughter is actually doing very well and she is starting to really understand what she did and how badly she broke our trust and our hearts. She also realizes had we not caught her she would’ve ended up dead. We are working on building trust back up. The therapist told us to make a list of what she could do to build trust so that’s what we are doing. So far so good.

She has been clean for a total of 6 weeks and no I know that’s not a long time and she has been grounded from all her friends and car. We have slowly allowed her to speak on the phone to certain friends we approve of and they too were scared for her, but she wouldn’t listen to them. They love her very much and all want to come over and each get a chance to spank her on the butt LOL! They’ve all said she needs a old fashion spankin !

We are all just very happy she is still here to tease and talk with seriously as well. It can’t be all seriousness all the time and I’m learning that as well. I’ve grown a lot in all of this with my knowledge of the fact “of its out of my control leave it alone and let it go and just pray about it.”

Well tell next time y’all stay safe and love to you both! Xoxo