Discarded by BPDex and struggling to move on

[purpleturnip]

Hi all,

A month ago, my BPDex flew me across the country to meet his family. Since returning from that trip, my BPDex has been undergoing a lot of work stress that he admitted made him unhappy with his life. Less than two weeks ago, he told me that he wanted to marry me whenever it was convenient for my life plan and how despite all of his past problems, he hoped I would give him a chance to show me he could be the boyfriend I deserved. This past week, he's completely changed. Everything I did, he would snap at. He told me to focus on reminding him of the positives in our relationship, which I did, and things seemed to be tense but mellowed out. Unfortunately, after a really bad incident with someone else (BPDex brought a girl we both approved of home for a threesome), he discarded me. I hadn't tried hard enough with her and towards the end wanted her gone, so he told me to "get the ________ out of his apartment." Nothing sexual happened at all. He did however comfort the other girl, telling her how he always knew I didn't want a threesome and that he was transparent about his needs so it wasn't on him that I was unhappy. He threw me out of his apartment, and despite my attempts to call/text, he has not responded. I even went to his apartment once, where he wouldn't even speak to me--just told me to leave.

I am struggling so much right now. We've had a history of breaking up and getting back together, and he's painted me black before coming back to apologize for taking out his life stress on me. The longest was 4 months. I can feel that this time it is different--I'm never going to see him again, and I'm hurting so unbelievably much. I have so many regrets about my own behavior--I never yelled or anything, but he did hate my low self esteem. He was my best friend. I just met his entire family for a two week long trip across the country. How can he switch from begging me to promise me one day I'd marry him, that we'll have children together and live so happy together to hating me and never wanting to speak to me again?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ColdKnight]

Hi Purple,

Was the threesome something you were really ok with or was this something you were doing just to meet his needs?

You said you feel this time is different, he is never coming back. What is it that makes you feel this way?

[HopelessBroken]

So much of how you are feeling, the confusion you have and questioning yourself is exactly where I am at. You are not alone. Tell us more when you feel ready.