"I" statements help.

[Stillhopeful4]

Good morning,

I have been reading about I statements and how to use them to not make your partner feel like you are blaming them etc.  Any time I say something and start with I she stops me in my tracks and says "this isn't about you"  or "why do you have to make everything about you?"  I'm trying so hard and she wants me to stop trying and says it's make her more hurt and more angry.

Any advice is welcome.  Thank you.

SH4

[Ozzie101]

Hi there, SH4.

That is a tough one but you're probably not the only one to deal with it. People with BPD can be experts at twisting things around -- or at least my uBPDh is.

I don't know what kinds of phrases you're trying to say, but is there a way to use more neutral, detached language? For instance, instead of "I feel when this happens like this" try "It seems when this happens, this is what's going on." That's an awkward example. Perhaps you could share some specifics about what you're trying to say and we can help come up with another approach?