Still processing about Dad

[Swimmy55]

Hi All,
I am still coming to terms about my Dad being undiagnosed BPD.  A lot of things make terrible sense, now.  My half sister ( his daughter from his first marriage) and her kids ( his grands)  have been abysmally ignored by my Dad all our lives.  I have such pain about this, but it appears since the first wife divorced him , my Dad had a serious grudge against her and anything of her, which included their daughter.  Abandonment issues and resulting evaluation, all that.   He loves me and my brother to the extent that our mother ( his second wife) stayed with him until her death .  45 years of silent suffering on her part.  However, his love was/ is conditional.  Since Mom stayed with him , her and his children are ok by him.   I feel such pain over my half sister.  Dad even resents the fact I am in contact with her to this day.  Ok that is all I can say now, I am overwhelmed.  Thanks for letting me vent.

[Harri]

Hi Swimmy. 

I am glad you posted.  I know how hard it is to do and I think you are doing a great job in posting what you can when you can.  We can listen and support you.   

I won't ask questions as I do not want to push you into places you'd rather not go right now.  Just keep sharing as you feel the need and we'll see where it goes okay?

 

[Cinnamonx7]

My dad and his siblings had a different experience that your post reminds me of.

His father forsakes his kids and gave the world to his second wife and her adult children and grands.

He paid for college educations, bought homes, cars, etc for them. But if his own kids needed anything he’d either refuse or make them have promissory “loan notes” notarized first.

BPD- is a lot to process and come to terms with for sure!

Whew, I said something years and years ago to my dad...when we couldn’t figure out what was wrong —and I was much younger.

He asked me “well, do you think I could be bipolar?” I said I’m not really sure dad, you’re kinda like crazy soup -a little of this and a little of that and a pinch of this and of that.

Recently, he repeated this to his doctor when he asked what he thought was wrong. He answered “I’m crazy soup.”

Omg! Wish I could take that back, but my dad said It made perfect sense to him.

Hang in there! 

Finding this site and talking to all of you have been such a healing for me.