Tired, roommate with BPD recently moved in

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I recently had a friend move in with me. I knew  a bit of her history in that her parents neglected and even verbally abused her as a child (and still as an adult)  I knew it was going to take a lot of patience and understanding to make cohabitation work for us ,however, she waited two months after moving in to disclose that she has been diagnosed bpd. We have been friends for years but  I didn’t know the extent of her illness because we only saw each other once in a while and she kept it  hidden for the most part. Ever since she told me (in a casual sort of way)  I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I don’t really know what to expect day to day. I love and support her but I am tired.

[Hols]

I recently had a friend move in with me. I knew  a bit of her history in that her parents neglected and even verbally abused her as a child (and still as an adult)  I knew it was going to take a lot of patience and understanding to make cohabitation work for us ,however, she waited two months after moving in to disclose that she has been diagnosed bpd. We have been friends for years but  I didn’t know the extent of her illness because we only saw each other once in a while and she kept it  hidden for the most part. Ever since she told me (in a casual sort of way)  I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I don’t really know what to expect day to day. I love and support her but I am tired.

[Panda39]

Hi Hols,

Welcome to the BPD Family 

Not initially seeing BPD behaviors is very common, folks with BPD can often maintain a normal appearance but with those closest to them they will show their more dysfunctional behaviors. 

Have you read about BPD?  I found that really helpful in trying to understand what was going on with my Partner's ex-wife.  A couple of books I liked about BPD are...

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason MS, Randi Kreger

and

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by Valerie Porr, M.A.

What kinds of behaviors have you been experiencing?   

I'm glad you've joined us there is a lot of support from the members here, and the site has information and tools that can help.

I look forward to hearing more of your story.

Panda39

[Harri]

Hi and welcome Hols!  I am joining in with Panda in saying I am glad you found us.

Panda mentioned we have tools here that can help.   I want to let you know that a couple years ago I had a friend move in with me who, while not diagnosed, exhibited many BPD behaviors.  I had known her for 18 years and did not see this side of her.  anyway, when things got tough, applying the tools really helped the situation and. more importantly, me to cope and remain centered. 

The tools can really help and are useful in all relationships in your life.

So when you feel like it I hope you share more.  We get it here.

Again,