Their desire to be pursued after hurting you

[Depression = 72% of members]

My uBPD g/f gave me silent treatment for 60 hrs snd now I don’t know what to do.


She asked me to share my feelings sbout sonethingvthat happened 3 weeks ago. I fell for manipulation and shared. She attacked. I had no strength to play the game. I needed support. She wanted to make sure I heard her. I said yes I am goingvto bed... good night.. (after telling her she shudnt have asked me what I was feeling if she didn’t care)

She text: dont wanna talk to you for a while. Please don’t contact me.

2.5 days later

She text’d  in to see i was alive thus morning

I said:yes, tx for checking in. Hope you are doing well

I said: please let me know when you are ready to talk. I’m here

She ssid:I’m going to happy hour

I said: I’m not going tonightI didn’t feel well. (She knows about some serious things I am going thru)

Nothing

I said: hope you have a nice time.

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing

I can’t stand this lack of care- she knows/agreed to no silent treatment..

Ps Its a monthly happy hour.  She usually doesn’t go. My friends usually go. She hates the bar/happy hour scene.

I’m struggling. I think not texting is the right response? Otherwise it affirms thus behavior of silence. Not sure what rlse to do. I hurt. She kniws what she does is the #1thing that i asked her not to do (silence with no estimated timetable; she agreed not to do this when we were in therapy; she brought up that “she now knows the silent treatment  is emotional abuse”

[Lifeinthefastlane]

My uBPD g/f gave me silent treatment for 60 hrs snd now I don’t know what to do.


She asked me to share my feelings sbout sonethingvthat happened 3 weeks ago. I fell for manipulation and shared. She attacked. I had no strength to play the game. I needed support. She wanted to make sure I heard her. I said yes I am goingvto bed... good night.. (after telling her she shudnt have asked me what I was feeling if she didn’t care)

She text: dont wanna talk to you for a while. Please don’t contact me.

2.5 days later

She text’d  in to see i was alive thus morning

I said:yes, tx for checking in. Hope you are doing well

I said: please let me know when you are ready to talk. I’m here

She ssid:I’m going to happy hour

I said: I’m not going tonightI didn’t feel well. (She knows about some serious things I am going thru)

Nothing

I said: hope you have a nice time.

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing

I can’t stand this lack of care- she knows/agreed to no silent treatment..

Ps Its a monthly happy hour.  She usually doesn’t go. My friends usually go. She hates the bar/happy hour scene.

I’m struggling. I think not texting is the right response? Otherwise it affirms thus behavior of silence. Not sure what rlse to do. I hurt. She kniws what she does is the #1thing that i asked her not to do (silence with no estimated timetable; she agreed not to do this when we were in therapy; she brought up that “she now knows the silent treatment  is emotional abuse”

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ColdKnight]

Bro...

Two weeks silent treatment from mine. I finally broke down and texted her and she said she had met someone.

How I wished I had never texted her.

Don’t ever chase someone whom is giving you the silent treatment. You lose so much self esteem and it gives them the ability to smack you down even farther.

If you hold strong you may never hear from her again but at least you walk away with your dignity and self respect.

That’s is just my opinion. Had i one, just ONE thing I could do over again it would be to NOT give in to the silent treatment.

[Lifeinthefastlane]

Thank you Cold Knight -your advice helped me alot today...

I’m sorry you went through all that and appreciate your willingness to share your story with me.

Early this morning I got a text from her that said “I am angry at you. But still still I remember that I love you.”’ (1:30 am). I didnt see it till after I woke up.

Sometime early this afternoon I thought I should affirm the feelings so I said

“Thank you for sharing your feelings. Its understandable to feel angry. Glad to know the love is still there.”’then nothing at all.

I couldnt bring myself to say i love you too. I was feeling angry and wanted to say I am angry too and still remember i love you.. “ when do i get to share my feelings? She has twisted the whole situation? I cant help but think my needs will never be met in this relationship.