I dated my ex gf for two years. We lived together for most of it (she with me) although she kept her old apartment with her room-mate.
We broke up maybe 60-70 different times for less than 24 hours where she would suddenly disappear. I don't even want to think of where she went all those times, but she claims she went home although many times I saw her out at bars, and now hear from her friends she was with other men and ex's.
Anyway, after about a year and 9 months I told her she and I needed to cut back on the amount of drinking we were doing because she wants to go out and drink nearly every evening but especially hard on weekends. She agreed with me but the very next night on her way home from work she asked me if she could go to happy hour.
I said sure, but I would be staying home. She texted me nearly 5 times asking if I wanted to come and every time I said for her to have a girls night. Eventually her friends texted me and said "She is getting mad you aren't here." So I caved and went to meet her. I called to tell her and said a buddy of mine was on his way there as well. She didn't want him there for some reason so I called my buddy and told him not to go. He didn't listen and went anyway.
When I showed up the buddy of mine was also there and my GF flipped out - BIG TIME - and dumped me in front of everyone. I kept apologizing and saying "babe, come home. This is absurd. Lets go home. I love you. Please." But she stormed off and went to another bar and left me.
I went back to the original bar where I got super wasted. I ended up leaving with a girl (I had just mentally said,
PLEASE READ it.) and I had sex with the girl and passed out naked in my bed with her. At 3 AM my recent ex gf crawled into my window and found us and World War III started.
She woke me up with a punch to the face. I freaked out in my blackout rage and started yelling at her that she was crazy and dumped me and I spat in her face and told her she was a miserable girl who will be alone and an alcoholic trolling bars for men the rest of her life. (totally wrong)
She left and the next day she called asking why I didn't come to console and fight for her. I was certain that it was over, but I went over and she cried and said she didn't want things to end that I did what I did in order to throw in the towel because I had enough of her (which was actually true).
but I decided I made a mistake, loved her so I continued the relationship.
We were fine for a few weeks - occasionally she would get upset but I would quickly shut it down and say "you dumped me. so stop."
I had to go out of town for work for 5 weeks and MAN that was when problems started. Every day she would yell at me, wanted to know my location. if she saw me at a bar she would get mad, but she would be at clubs until 3 AM (hypocritical)
I came home for 5 days and she left to a friends, friends baby shower. (yes, not her friends but a friends, friends). I was pissed that she would be leaving when I was coming to see her but I figured 2 days is ok.
When she left, she isolated me from everyone stating I had to block every person I knew. She didn't want me going out with anyone or talking to anyone. I found it odd but said "ok".
Well a buddy of mine asked me to meet him out and I went. I lied to my GF about it and she found out and when I was back out of town she packed all her belongings and left.
I flew down immediately to speak to her and she was no where to be found. Come to find out she IMMEDIATELY went to spend the weekend with her EX BF (prior to me).
I met her after she came home and she was cold and unrecognizable from the girl I knew. So I let it go and parted ways.
I went NC and after a week and a half she heard I gave a girl a ride home from a bar somehow and she called me the next day saying she was second guessing her decision.
I met her and said, I enrolled in therapy and she should come with me (she had originally wanted us both to go).
She said she couldn't at this point. But she needed time and space. So I went LC (low contact) and didn't push her. I sent flowers to her work and she met me again, we kissed and chatted and she said she would maybe be over that weekend.
Well two days later, the weekend comes and she's blasting out social media of her new BoyFriend. (WTF?)
This goes on every day. I text her instead of falling for the bait and say "congrats, seems like a nice guy. Wish you the best."
She responded "I am just trying to find my happy. I think we both are and whatever that means for the both of us, it is what it is." - weirdo.
Anyway, I let it go but I get upset a few times and write her to apologize for my wrong doings but still maintaining the notion of "I'm upset, I'm so sorry things didn't work with us, but I am happy for you."
Well, I then get this odd text saying "Please stop communicating with me, my friends, family or anyone associated with me as a person. People are getting extremely uncomfortable and concerned."
She sends this to my mother too. Then she texts me out of the blue again and says "You're making me extremely uncomfortable COMPLETELY DISCONTINUE COMMUNICATING with me or anyone associated with me".
I was never talking to her, her friends and I only spoke with her sister ONCE weeks ago. My therapist said it sounds like she has BPD.
So sure enough, she was alluding to me as being abusive, a stalker, and not leaving her alone to her new BF.
Honestly, I've been out of town. Dating other girls and look at her as being tainted from sleeping with her ex, then getting in bed two days after hooking up with me with a new "boyfriend" so I let it go.
But I am crushed and so confused on how she became SO HATEFUL.
I made her breakfast and coffee every AM before work, took her to fancy dinners nearly 3 times a week, always bought her clothes, have a house on the water which she stayed with me rent free, I sent flowers to her work once a month for no reason but to let her know I was thinking of her. I took her to Aspen, Mexico, Bahama's, NYC, Miami - countless extravagant trips and gestures.
We fought a lot over her crossing boundaries like texting married men at 4 AM and flirting on insta with a bunch of guys, but I treated her like a princess the majority of the time.
Will she ever recognize or come back? Will she ever contact me again? or am I painted black forever and she will never speak to me again. I can't text or call and I'm scared to see her in person ever (small beach town) because she's obviously trying to set me up for a restraining order or something it seems from her texts.
Will she ever come back?
