Dealing with our 4th intensive inpatient stay

[Lhope]

My 16 year old son has been in 4 separate stays in an intensive inpatient care facility.  Each time it is for his inability to face consequences for his actions.  This most recent stay is because his step dad found him trying to hang himself.  I  am just plain worn out and numb to it all...is this normal?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Lhope
I am glad you are here and sorry for what brings you here. Four inpatient stays including a suicide attempt is hard on any family. You ask if this is normal. If by that you mean something to be expected then I would say yes. What your son is going through is normal for people with BPD. The good news is it can get better. You did the right thing by coming here for information and support. The more you learn about BPD the more you will be able to help him. But the first step is self care. What are you doing to keep yourself healthy and strong?
 

[Lhope]

Hello!  I am on the verge of a break down.  How do family's deal with this...keep their child safe...have jobs and care for themselves?  Haven't found a balance yet.

[PeaceMom]

LHope,

when my DD or DS has been inpatient, I consider that full on crisis mode. I scale back and stop anything that is not absolutely necessary. I say No to just about everything that’s optional unless I know it will be enjoyable.
I’ve finally asked for help from dear friends and we’ve gotten on the meal delivery chain.
I’m very careful who I share with. I also go off the grid a bit. Meditation, yoga, walking the dog, moving slowly and methodically helps. Hot baths, hot tea, relaxing music, deep breathing, stretching.

Self care is not optional so you must find a way to fit a few things in. What can you stop doing? What can you add in to your day?

I’m so sorry for your current struggle. I’ve been there and I get it.

Peacemom

[FaithHopeLove]

When my son is in the hospital or in jail I  visit him and try to assure him of my love (which sometimes he accepts and sometimes he rejects). Then I pamper myself by doing the things I love like writing, aquacise, playing my harp, cooking basically just being me and reminding myself there is a me. I also go for therapy. It helps a lot. Have you thought about therapy?

[Harri]

... and reminding myself there is a me.

This is so important and I like the way you worded this Faith.  I hope all of you parents can remember to do this.