hi Bleeding Heart, and
ive been there!
i was with a very, very jealous partner. we were together just shy of three years, and a great deal of that time was taken up arguing about my intentions with other women.
its hard. it feels really smothering and invasive to be accused of things, and sometimes it seems like it just has to happen when things are going well.
the impossibly short version is that some guidelines ought to be introduced in terms of mutual respect and crossing lines. at the same time, you need reasonable expectations in terms of what that can mean, especially when hes worked up.
you have a jealous partner, and BPD tends to mean an inherent lack of trust, and tendency to assume the worst, and then act on that assumption. generally speaking, that is unlikely to change. but that doesnt have to mean interactions between the two of you cant improve.
I have gotten a divorce, given up my house so my teenage daughter could live at home with her dad and wouldn't be exposed to my love's rant sessions
tell us more. were you married when the two of you met?