Fell for a girl how suffers from BPD but I think I'm just making a fool out of m

[Loves.a.a.v.bpd]

When met her I got to know her first I got friendly with her started going on walks with her she told me about her ex boyfriend who cheated on her and took his new girlfriend a place she would love to go witch sounds narcisstic also said he is from the same town as me told me his name I don't know him witch is good

Then she told me she liked me about a week later so I kissed her I didn't want her to think I just wanted her for sex so I got into a relationship with her she got started telling me she loved me and wanted to marry me then she needed space I gave her it she said she needed ressurences so I tryed to give her space and ressurences while we were both in hosptial she made me jealous I let her know I wasn't a door mat

Then I found out she was talking to her ex I called her questioned her I'm not a controll freak she kept a secret from me and after it she made out I went crazy I was annoyed but I didn't shout and ball and call her name's my friend she has BPD and said she's most likely playing on her illness

I was meant to go to her place but because of a little I mean little argument she needed more space I made her jelous with another girl over Facebook I asked the other girl to help me make her jealous I thought she would come BK to me or at least talk to me and act like a adult so we could sort things out well she texted me said she could not believe I thought she would cheat. Witch I never accused her of I asked if she wanted to be with her ex instead of me I text her back I said I don't think your like that. Then she asked why I thought that.i told her it was because she needs space from me but can talk to her ex and who the other time she made me jealous and it was because she didn't tell me she was talking to her ex and asked her I how she would like it if I was talking to my ex. She said she wouldn't mind witch and everybody makes her feel guilty

Also told her why I tryed to make her jealous  and why got her flowers left them at her doorstep then she broke up with me said she wanted a relationship but I hurt her feelings and I throw something at her everyday I only overected twice and it's understandable to see why and I was good to her I treated her right she has been sexual abused by her father I keep in touch with her I went to visit her at her house once she reached out to me said things would get better between us then her dad died she called me in the middle of the night but I have seen on Facebook she's talking to her ex and I don't know if she still has feelings for him but I just wanted to be with her and treat her right always was honest with her but if it's him she wants then her loss guy cheated on a self harmer I know I hurt her but I panic thought I was losing her can some give me advice what to do because I want her back she's amazing  she said she was with her ex for 5 year I was only with her 2 month and I know I'm better than his just hope she sees that and I know I could get hurt more but I'm taking a chance

I just got pissed off when I was with her I just wanted to be with her I was putting up with being confused and getting mixed signals she I was their when she was in hospital after trying to kill herself and after she told me her dad raped her growing up and after her self harming I know I'm not perfect I only got jealous because I love her but it with her dad dieing and she also told me she's off her meds she told me that a few days ago a few women with BPD told me it's her loss she will try to get me back at some point I know that's gonna happen but just don't want took for a mug but if I act like a don't care might actract her back but then she will think I don't love her


Ps I think she's a quite borderline and she had PTSD

She has bipolar also

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