Recently experienced a crisis. Needing support and help.

[hikingnatty19]

I am here because I recently have experienced a crisis with my significant other who I live with. We have been together for just over a year and have faired okay. It became apparent in the past few weeks prior to the crisis where I began to feel like I could not ever speak my mind or share my thoughts without fear of setting off a panic attack - walking on eggshells. Doing simple tasks like eating, showering, getting out of the house for essential errands, and walking the dogs became traumatic experiences.

It began to wear on me to the point where I needed a break and space. Feeling trapped I talked to friends and family about the situation. Unsure and unable to effectively communicate my needs for space began a crisis. She felt I was abandoning her and she threatened to take her own life if I left. Knowing the situation was severe with her history and the steps she had already taken to show she had true intentions; I felt the right thing to do was to remain with her as her support. I got her to go to the hospital and check herself in to get her to a safe space. She is there now and is getting help.

I am here looking for support and to share my story. I love her with all my heart, and I am committed to having a relationship. But as a part of this experience I have realized a few things I need for myself. I need help and to talk to someone. I need to identify my own needs, boundaries, and expectations for this relationship. That is the one thing I am trying to work out now and struggling with.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[hikingnatty19]

  feeling hopeless and destroyed. SO will be coming home soon from hospital. I still don't feel like I know how to not be on eggshells and talk to her. The few times I've called her has been mixed. Sometimes she's okay, other times she's volatile and yells at me for not caring about her or trying to help her. I know they are just words but I feel destroyed by them right now. I am still trying to get help for myself at this point because I am so anxious and depressed about everything. I can't eat or sleep myself. I am drained but supposed to be her support? I don't know if I can be there for her right now. I feel I am still too co-dependent. 

[once removed]

hi hikingnatty19, and

im really glad you found us. youre right: essential in all of this is having a strong support group.

these problems in the relationship didnt form over night, and wont be solved over night. its going to take hard work, and good feedback. jumping in and learning the tools, asking questions of them, is the best way to start.

when does she come home? is she already back?