Did Home Schooling create a "Change of Custody" in California?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I've been divorced from my BPD/ NPD ex for 4 years. We went through a devastating move away court battle in which she wanted to take our 50/50 custody kids 100 miles away. She outspent me and I ran out of cash and settled, allowing them to move but gaining a number of rights, 60% of summer visitation, all holidays, etc. So i'm at about 29% custody.

During 3/4 of Spring Semester, my ex had had it with the kids and agreed to a 2 week on 2 week off schedule during the quarantine. Then summer hit and I'll have had them 6 of 10 weeks when we start up school in late August.

Our school is closed for fall and 100% homeschool. I asked her if we could resume the 50/50 to minimize risk of virus transfer and also to give her a break. She informed me she will be hiring a full time nanny and maybe a part time teacher and she'd give me one extra day every two weeks. The nanny she's hiring was fired last year for throwing one of my boys across the room.

I need to address the abuse obviously and tell her we'll tolerate zero incidents of abuse. But the custody issue is a question. Since Spring semester created a new precedent, I understand in California that's what courts will look at when considering custody. I'm not going to reopen the court case. However, I do want to know if technically we now have a new custody precedent and if the courts would look at it as their best interest to continue with the co-parenting (especially given Covid)?

How would you respond to her to ensure you are both protecting the kids rights and setting a firm boundary but without escalating?  If it were you, would you push harder for 50%/ 50% or let it go?

[calidad]

I've been divorced from my BPD/ NPD ex for 4 years. We went through a devastating move away court battle in which she wanted to take our 50/50 custody kids 100 miles away. She outspent me and I ran out of cash and settled, allowing them to move but gaining a number of rights, 60% of summer visitation, all holidays, etc. So i'm at about 29% custody.

During 3/4 of Spring Semester, my ex had had it with the kids and agreed to a 2 week on 2 week off schedule during the quarantine. Then summer hit and I'll have had them 6 of 10 weeks when we start up school in late August.

Our school is closed for fall and 100% homeschool. I asked her if we could resume the 50/50 to minimize risk of virus transfer and also to give her a break. She informed me she will be hiring a full time nanny and maybe a part time teacher and she'd give me one extra day every two weeks. The nanny she's hiring was fired last year for throwing one of my boys across the room.

I need to address the abuse obviously and tell her we'll tolerate zero incidents of abuse. But the custody issue is a question. Since Spring semester created a new precedent, I understand in California that's what courts will look at when considering custody. I'm not going to reopen the court case. However, I do want to know if technically we now have a new custody precedent and if the courts would look at it as their best interest to continue with the co-parenting (especially given Covid)?

How would you respond to her to ensure you are both protecting the kids rights and setting a firm boundary but without escalating?  If it were you, would you push harder for 50%/ 50% or let it go?

[worriedStepmom]

I'd push harder, but you might have to go to court if she won't agree.  You do have a precedent that this is working well for the kids.