Struggling with BPD husband

[SunnydaysinCA]

Hi all,
This is my first time here.
I’m wondering how others are coping when a loved one is in the middle of an episode. I try to not react but it’s INCREDIBLY difficult when I’m in the middle of it. Any advice? Thank you.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

Welcome!

Sorry you are going thru a hard time.

5 years, you have seen a lot of everything I am guessing.

I think the cheating, spectrum, is one of the defining characteristics of BPD.

That being said, this is something quite troublesome.

My s.o., whom I am separated from, all during our living together 10 plus years, I continually thought he was cheating, had a mutual friend call me at the 5 year mark, and said I need to tell you he is cheating on you w (xxxyyzzz).
I found out 5 years after that, she was trying to break us up.  He wasn't being unfaithful.

Personally, I do not know how to handle this.

I do believe it gets better as they get older.

Also, it's better because I am working a 12 step that has me stop. Look at my behaviours, thoughts, actions.  Which has a lot to do with our relationship...

there is a lot to learn.  One day at a time.

Welcome.

[pursuingJoy]

Sunnydays, welcome!  Most of us can relate to struggling to keep it together in the midst of an episode. Can you tell us more about what's going on? It helps to have some details.