2. As a result of my appointment with the child psychologist I'm now thinking about this is lifelong condition that has been exacerbated and unmanageable with me being fully invested and mediating his behaviour which is congruent with having a loved one with bipolar disorder /I am evaluating my situation like I need to detach and focus on saving myself and the children.
I want to get him into treatment, I want him to stop abusing me, I want to keep my family intact, I want to experience intimacy and satisfaction within these relationships, I want him to adhere to medication regiment, I want to show him how badly he hurt me and the kids, I want to have the tools to survive while trying to make all of the above reality.
as I read what you wrote above,... I see a few contradictions, a lot of uncertain and conflicting emotions in your messages.
I would suggest, as has been mentioned before,.. to concentrate on your own emotions, focus on your own thoughts, to understand why you move back and forth between these two contrasting positions.
I believe a better understanding of what drives
your reactions to your husband would allow you to feel more comfortable.
