Setting boundaries

[RollerMom75]

  Can anyone give me examples of boundary setting that has worked with a SO wBPD? I need some firm examples. This morning my husband w BPD freaked out at me for taking a blanket off our bed. I told him I won’t tolerate his yelling and if he wants to discuss this with me he needs to stop yelling. Is that ok? The problem is I have already told him I won’t tolerate yelling or stomping around at night because it wakes up my son, he does it anyway. I won’t tolerate yelling at all around my son, but he does it anyway.

In general my husbands emotional disregulation is getting much worse, his episodes are becoming more frequent and intense and I’m needing to set more and more boundaries. Basically these days he threatens divorce every few days, but then never follows through, he doesn’t sleep in our bed. He turns everything around on me. He’s getting worse. Much worse. .

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[Melissinde]

Hi RollerMom,
I too struggle to set boundaries, so I'm not sure I'll have concrete advice for you here. I too say I won't tolerate certain things (him shouting, calling me an idiot or childish, throwing an object on the floor...) but he is just going to do it anyway.
If he enters into a rage, I just walk away but then he completely ignores me and my hurt feelings.
When his episode is over, most of the time he is going to feel remorse and apologise and he is still gonna start again next time he is triggered.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you having your son impacted by it also. Just know you're not alone going through this 

I back you up here, if anybody has concrete examples about efficient boundary settings, it would be more than helpful