If she says she can't be more than friends will she change her mind , again ?

[Unsure101]

Ok, so she's said she doesn't want to lead me on , even though she's throwing confusing messages out.

What's the odds , she's going to change her mind, I'm sure she's done this in the past then we've got closer.

Is this some kind of defense mechanism, or does she really mean it this time?

We've been in and out of this relationship for 4 years, moving in and out repeatedly.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Foolish man]

Hi Unsure
You say you have been in and out of a relationship for 4 years , that must be very difficult for you to deal with . What are the reasons ?
We can’t decide what other people do or how they act. We can only control what we say and do.
It is difficult to let someone you care about go off, but if that is what she wants to do. You can’t stop her.
You can only decided what to do if/ when she comes back.
Is this the kind of relationship you want ?