Trip to Oz

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Last night, I recognized my mom was splitting. The issue wasn't even about me, but in the end, I was included in being "all bad." All her children are at the core "ungrateful" people despite her many sacrifices. It was helpful to recognize that she was splitting. It has been a long journey trying to integrate my own self and not just see myself as all bad. I had to fight to not go down that path. I had to refuse to believe that I'm all bad. I'm saddened that I can feel and understand my mom's tears and pain and see her as a whole, the good and the bad, but that she cannot see me that way. And when she "vents" to other people, we end up being portrayed as all bad again while she is the victim. It hurts. It hurts to know that your mom is telling everyone her children are all bad. This was triggered by one of her grown children setting a boundary and not doing what my mom wanted her to do. With limited contact my trips to the land of Oz haven't been as frequent. But I'm still trying to gather the pieces of myself after last night's trip.

[Glacier Melt]

Last night, I recognized my mom was splitting. The issue wasn't even about me, but in the end, I was included in being "all bad." All her children are at the core "ungrateful" people despite her many sacrifices. It was helpful to recognize that she was splitting. It has been a long journey trying to integrate my own self and not just see myself as all bad. I had to fight to not go down that path. I had to refuse to believe that I'm all bad. I'm saddened that I can feel and understand my mom's tears and pain and see her as a whole, the good and the bad, but that she cannot see me that way. And when she "vents" to other people, we end up being portrayed as all bad again while she is the victim. It hurts. It hurts to know that your mom is telling everyone her children are all bad. This was triggered by one of her grown children setting a boundary and not doing what my mom wanted her to do. With limited contact my trips to the land of Oz haven't been as frequent. But I'm still trying to gather the pieces of myself after last night's trip.

[Methuen]

I wonder, is it possible to "ride this one out", and stay out of the drama by not engaging, but staying silent (and invisible) in the background, especially since the issue wasn't about you?  Or maybe that's not possible?  Thoughts?