I have never been on anything like this before so here goes my wife left me sort of 2years ago she just walked away and left the kids with me . The fact that she left her kids told me that there was something wrong in her mind , her kids were her life. In the last two years she has tried to kill her self 4-5 times she cuts herself has tattooed her body and got over 20 piercings she tells me she does it because the physical pain is better than the inner pain 3weeks ago she finally talked to a mental health person and the diagnosed her with bpd. I never even heard of it before but the more I read about it the more it matches her symptoms.
Anyways the reason I am on here is because I don’t know how to help her I don’t know how to help my kids and I don’t know how to help myself. I guess I wonder if knowing I am not alone would help me . I don’t know.
You are not alone. We are all here for you. There is so much information on here and people on here that have been through this. No matter how crazy things seem I guarantee you others here have been through it. Your situation sounds very serious at the moment. The only advice I would give you is to A) protect your children first and foremost. That means I would not let them access to her until she is under the care of a professional. I'm pretty sure you could facilitate that through the court or police department given her recent history. B) protect yourself. If you can't go no contact with her DO NOT engage with any sort of provocation or escalation of her moods. Do not trigger her or engage in banter back and forth that is toxic. C) I would recommend you yourself seek professional family therapist as quickly as possible. Explain the entire situation to them and they can help you navigate this situation. D) lastly, once you cover all the bases above obviously we are here to talk with and to help you through it. It really does help to share, to engage and to talk with other people who have been where you are.
She sounds unstable and potentially violent to herself or possibly others even through indirect actions (drinking and driving or using to try and avoid her pain) I think it's top priority to protect your children and yourself and to have access to a professional therapist as soon as you possibly can.
Everything will be ok. Just take one step, one action and one day at a time. It may seem like your World is caving in and there are no answers but I promise you, the key is to get the ball rolling in the ways I have described above. Only once you feel safe, are safe and have the peace of mind of knowing you have protected your kids can you truly have the calm that is needed to begin to process what happened to your relationship and start the journey to healing.
God bless.
