Please help... BPD and Ghosting

[Hopefull2021]

To make a long story short. This is someone I was close friends with in my high school days. We lost touch because he moved around a lot. His father molested him for almost 14 years. Anyhow, we reconnected on Fb. Since then he was married and divorced from his wife and has two grown girls. We started to reconnect as friends back in August. The conversations started to take a turn to be a little more romantic. He would express to me at times that he wanted to be friends first but obviously with our conversations friends first was a little difficult. It got to the point where he would text and call every day. He was the initiator… not me. We spoke during some of his work breaks and at night every night for about a month and half. These conversations would be face time and just regular phone. He wanted to see me and has family in my state. He made the plans… got his covid test.. hair cut… Would tell me he couldn’t wait to see me face to face. Just wanted to relax and hang out. Also made other plans to see me on other days and take me to his friends house to watch football. I was going to cook his fave food and had gotten him his fave beers. The night before he left he called…everything fine. Then the morning he left he was acting funny with the texts. He said he was excited to see his family and me. He said also that he was struggling emotionally… that not to take it personally and to trust him. I told him he could talk to me about it if he needs to…. etc… He never text me after just to tell me he was in my state. Then nothing. The day we planned to see each other was when he never responded to any texts and ghosted me. I was so heartbroken and confused. I opened one of the beers I got for him and posted a pic on fb that said cheers. With that he blocked me. No contact no nothing. I am actually to go to his state this week and we had plans for me to go see him and spend a few days there…. I am just so confused as to what happened. Do you think he will contact me? I did send him a text last night through a different number since he blocked me saying I missed him and that I don’t know what happened but that it’s ok to contact me. He leaves to go home today.
I wanted to also write him a letter or email and this is what I wanted to send:

I am writing this letter to you with nothing by good intentions and affection.
I miss you… plain and simple.. I do.  I was so happy when we reconnected on Facebook… We were such good friends in our youth.  I always admired you and was so happy to have you in my life when we were younger (hence the lighting of my sweet sixteen candle).
When we started talking on Facebook I was thrilled because it brought back a lot of memories I had of you.  I was so curious to find out about your life.  What you were doing… hear about your beautiful daughters… and just catch up.  I was happy to see how well you were doing. 
Little did I know that our conversations would take a turn and that there would be attraction to each other.  I always thought you were cute when we were young… and now you just looked older and more distinguished. 
Throughout our texts and conversations you made me feel happy.  I enjoyed hearing from you and I looked forward to every text and phone call you would make to me.  Our lengthy conversations and chats on text made my nights more interesting.  I started to feel an emotional connection to you.   I think that we both did. We both liked and wanted the same things.  We also both cared for each other. All I honestly could think about was seeing you and kissing you…. Hugging you tight.  I wanted to show you that good women do exist… that you could trust and confide in me as your friend and possible romantic interest. 
The more we talked, the stronger my feelings for you became.  The emotional connection was there and I literally became afraid.  I felt like I was a teenager again with a high school crush. 
When we finally spoke of seeing each other after all these years I was so excited.  I couldn’t wait to spend time with you.  I didn’t even care what we did… All I wanted to do was make your time with me comfortable.  I was literally counting the days for you to come… we both were.  I was so excited to see you and be next to you. 
When you expressed to me the day you left that you were struggling emotionally I was afraid that you were getting nervous to see me.  I probably was just as nervous. .. infact that night I could not sleep. 
I don’t really know what happened but I guess I can understand why you were struggling.  I guess there was a lot of expectation going on since we both built up our meeting.  I only ever wanted you to be comfortable and happy.  If nothing happened then nothing happened and I would rather have you in my life as a truly great friend than nothing at all. 
All I can say is that I truly miss you. I miss your voice.. I miss your texts… I miss you. 
I hope you can feel in your heart that I am a good person.  That I care about you, that I have love for you, and that I would never leave.  And perhaps one day we will see each other and embrace like we once wanted to.

I don't know if I should send this... but I trully miss this man. He posts a lot of quotes on facebook that are so heartbreaking about finding love and what not. That is all I wanted to show him.  Please help!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

being ghosted is agonizing. in the present day, it is, unfortunately, all the more common. im a millenial; did you know its happened to 80% of us?

unfortunately, while the tendency may be to reach out, to see what happened, this is more likely to further push him away. if someone makes a move toward not responding, or even blocking, reaching out may push them to erect even higher walls.

i imagine this romance felt like a whirlwind in your life, and he has left an enormous void. ive been there. its a huge struggle, and there are often few if any answers, when you most want them.

at the same time, reaching out any further is going to make you less likely to get them.

[Hopefull2021]

I honestly do not understand any of this. Why call and text me every day? Why make the plans to come to my state and go through all that trouble. It just all doesn’t make any sense?
I did send a text to him his last day here on Sunday from my work hone since I was blocked and said  didn’t know what happened but to let’s put this behind us... no questions asked bc I do think a lot of what happened was fear.
We never saw each other in 25 years. It was all phone calls facetime and text... we were close friends in our past so I just don’t understand this. He would always talk to me about finding love. His fb posts are all about finding love and wanting good people... etc...  perhaps the reality of seeing me freaked him out so bad bc of intense feelings... idk... but the ghosting is whathirts the most bc I do not deserve that. I want to love him... I think he wants me... so I will not push...

[once removed]

perhaps the reality of seeing me freaked him out so bad bc of intense feelings

that may be, or something along those lines.

people want things they arent always prepared to go through with.

i think its clear that he took your post that included the beer badly. i dont think theres anything that you can do about that, and i wouldnt try. ive been there; really.

so I will not push...

pushing a person that has ghosted, blocked, etc, only pushes them further away. i know how hard it is to be in that position, and how much you want answers. sometimes, especially when it comes to ghosting, there are not clear answers, at least not any that the person doing it can provide.

things will, ultimately, feel better eventually, and the situation itself may, improve eventually, but pushing is likely to leave you feeling even more cut off and confused.

[ThanksForPlaying]

You sound like you're learning a lot and starting to get a handle on how to deal with this in your own way. I would also suggest simply living in the present - maybe it's called mindfulness?

Take the approach that you might get back together, but you aren't right now, and if something happens where you meet someone else, that would be great too. It's like keeping your mind open to other people without shutting the door on the past - just being open to whatever life brings your way.

As we know all too well, pwbpd often can sense when we might be starting to get interested in someone else, and that's when they'll try to come back. At that point, you can make your choice, and you may find that you've moved on, or maybe not.