Looking for treatment

[BlueLilac]

Hi,

My adolescent daughter has been diagnosed with bpd, ocpd, narcissistic traits, anorexia. She has been hospitalized now for over 6 months due to self-harm and suicidal ideation. The hospital recommends residential treatment, but some won't take her because of her ED and some won't take her because of the SI. We are also considering bringing her home and find treatment nearby. Does anyone have experience with this situation? How do you keep your child safe? She is only 13.

Thank you for any experience you can share.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome.
She is in care now and that is a good first step. What does her psych team suggest?

I have had experience in back in 2009 when my son was about 15.  Very long story short , he did have to go into Sheppard Pratt Psych facility , then therapeutic hospital then transferred to residential/ group home.  So as far as the psychological experience, it did him good for a while. It kept him alive and safe. The  regimented , supervised schedule helped him, and he learned basic survival such as doing laundry, personal grooming, shaving, etc... I credit this experience getting him through graduating high school and college.  He had a few good years until he crashed down again in adulthood. Financially wise- many steps . Initially started with  Health insurance through to having the state take care of him and I had to pay child support to the state. We were involved weekly with therapists, visits, treatment plans.

Of course this was years ago and depends on the state.   This is very painful to talk about even now and I am triggered just writing this to you.  I completely understand the heartache, the recriminations , the terror , sorrow, etc involved.  However , in hindsight I think it saved his life. And mine. ( He was violent and self harming even back then).
 

[BlueLilac]

Hi Swimmy55, I am really sorry that you got triggered while writing your reply. The next step suggested is residential, but the only places that will accept her do not seem appropriate (one cannot deal with the eating disorder and the other one seems more like a military camp). The hard part is to trust her. The hard part is make her want to get better. I am not sure anyone can make someone get better. You kept your son safe. I hope I can keep my daughter safe too. I guess that for now, this is all I can hope for.

Thank you.

[wendydarling]

Hi BlueLilac 

I join Swimmy welcoming you. While I don't have experience of residential and am in the UK along with others I'm here to offer you support. That's frustrating some won't consider because of SI or ED. Do you feel you've exhausted current routes in your search? You may have already been in touch with different professionals in the BPD field to signpost you to resources. Blaise Aguirre at Mcleans specialises in adolescences, Valerie Porr's organisation TARA4BPD. Others may have ideas. I'm surprised that residentials you've contacted are not treating SI - as that is a hallmark of BPD and the first aim of a DBT therapist is to work with the patient on SI. My DD (she's now 32) also suffered from ED for 13 years and DBT (outpatient) has helped her manage her ED.

Here's Lbj's, a mothers Residential treatment: Journal of 12 month journey with her 13 yr old daughter.

Swimmy  I too am sorry you got triggered replying. You are not alone - you may not wish to read right now, you may find it helpful. Here is a parents conversation Being triggered, falling apart and putting myself back together
Big hugs to you 

WDx

[Swimmy55]

Thanks Wendydarling.

BlueLilac- keep strong. write back as often as you have need .