I can't control my emotions whatsoever

[backseatrider]

Hi,
i'm new here, I have been recently diagnosed with BPD and i'm having a hard time controlling my emotions.

So basically, my partner and I have decided to get back together, it was all going very well, but I just can't seem to control my emotions anymore. When i'm irritated i get furious in a matter of seconds, and i can't calm down until i've made the situation even worse. I feel like my wild emotions are going to take a huge toll on my partner and the relationship itself. I don't know what to do anymore I have tried meditating, breathing, writing, watching tv, but i just can't ignore my anger/frustration until i have talked about it with my partner.

I just don't know what to do anymore

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[BlueLilly]

Hi there, I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I can't imagine how it feels for you.

My understanding is that the variety of tools via DBT have helped lots of people. There are in person programs as well as online but if you are not ready to commit financially/emotionally/physically(time) I suggest checking your local library for books about BPD and DBT.

From what I understand, these tools are really relationship/communication tools that can be used by anyone in any relationship. I actually just ordered a new book about cancer and DBT so that I can learn the skills as it relates to my health issues.

You are not alone!

[EZEarache]

Thanks for reaching out for help. I think this is really great and brave of you!

Are you taking any medication? I am having a lot of difficulty in my relationship and was struggling with rage and flying off the handle at the drop of the hat. I put myself back on Zoloft, and it's been really helpful for me. I am seeing things much more clearly overall, and am able to have a more rational reflection on the situation I'm in. Ultimately, I feel way better and am not flying off the handle at my ex all the time. Today she picked a fight with me, and I didn't scream back at her. I was able to be objective and rational and state facts and leave the nasty emotion out of it.

It can be a big jump to go on psychotropics, and feel very stigmatizing. However, for me anyway, the end result is worth the fear factor. If you're only seeing a therapist and they can't prescribe you can go to your primary care provider and they will prescribe something. Your partner is worth it.

[St Jude]

Thanks for being so open about what you are experiencing and for seeking help.  My partner has BPD symptoms and I have experienced many a rage.   I have learned a lot about what he’s experiencing by listening to people with BPD share their experiences and what has helped them (DBT is always the answer).  Recovery mum on u-tube is someone I have learned a lot from, she has a great program of recovery.

You mentioned that when you’re feeling anger/frustration you’re not able to control it until you’ve talked with your partner about it.  My partner has had many rages that have led to me being very angry with him, and he has said something similar, that he needs to be able to express himself.  What I struggle with is the intensity to which he expresses himself.  Do you think there is something your partner could do to help you with the intensity of the way you end up communicating when you say your emotions are out of control?  I want him to express himself to me, I just really can’t take the meltdowns, they have been causing me to go into panic attacks lately.