Why do I question it?

[marv1995]

I don't know why I question whether or not my partner (or right now ex-partner) has BPD. He has told me "When I'm with you I am so happy but as soon as you leave I'm miserable in our relationship" and "When I'm with you I want to tell you all these sweet things and talk about our future, but when you leave I don't know why I even said those things." Literally classic object permanence issues. I guess it's because he hasn't been officially diagnosed, but even talking to my therapist and the way our relationship is, she says it sounds like classic BPD.


Anyway, he ended the relationship again a little over a week ago. We haven't talked since. Some days I feel okay, some days I feel terrible. Don't know if I should attempt to reach out or not.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

Anyway, he ended the relationship again a little over a week ago.
...
Don't know if I should attempt to reach out or not.

what happened?

[marv1995]

what happened?

I honestly wish I could tell you. I never really know unless I analyze all of our interactions and think of something that could have triggered his abandonment. Everything was fine. We were on the phone, then he just started getting real quiet and detached with his responses and bam, he said he wanted to be alone.

[once removed]

if you were to reach out, what might you want to say?

[marv1995]

if you were to reach out, what might you want to say?

Well...he works for a collective of restaurants and they are having a cook-off on Sunday, so I was debating on whether or not to reach out Sunday and just tell him good luck.