Transitioning to independence

[Mo Puppy]

My 18 year old iis set up in an apartment and is making TERRIBLE choices. Do other parents stand back and let their son/daughter learn from their mistakes or intervene?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Mo Puppy, welcome to the group.

Short answer: as agonizing as it is, yes, many parents do step back and don't intervene in their adult child's poor choices. It is a hard truth that many kids need to hit rock bottom in order to learn about the consequences and outcomes of their decisions.

Often, with people with BPD-type traits, helping / "overhelping" them can inhibit their ability or will to mature and help themselves.

Of course, every situation is different, and I say this as someone who doesn't have an adult child (it's my husband's kids' mom who has BPD traits).

Whenever works for you, want to share a little more about what's going on? You must be agonizing over how to care about your child as you watch the rough transition.

It's a good group here with a wide range of experiences and perspectives. I think you'll fit right in as you sound so open to learning.

kells76