Thinking of Leaving

[bauers220]

I have been thinking of this for a long while.  Even before the wedding… even before we moved across country.  I moved anyway.  I thought it would improve.  There are too many things to list - I’m just emotionally spent.  I feel like I have to be perfect in all things so I don’t get the wrath or cold shoulder. 

I want to tell her but honestly I’m super nervous.  The last time I tried - a month ago - she seemed to listen and validate my concerns. To date she’s done nothing on her end to improve or change a single thing.  I just feel like we just exist.  There is nothing … no joy, no passion, no real unity. 

I don’t know what to do.  I’d literally be starting over with nothing.  I’m okay with that. 

How does one even bring this up?  I’m unhappy… she knows I am unhappy… I’m emotionally spent.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi You're posting in the "Bettering" board, so I'll write based on that.

You don't have to be perfect. No one is. It sounds like you're letting FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) get to you. Maybe you need your own trip to get away from things, relax, and regain yourself. Are you enabling the negatives you see in the relationship? The book Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist could be helpful to regain your life and stop worrying so much.

How's it going now?