Here we go again

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I unlocked her 7 days ago and prior to that had blocked her 2 months.

I got a bit triggered and i also have had6
 A bad reaction to the moderna jab 2nd time and in that moment i sent her a page full of offloading all the things i should have said ac cumulated over years but didn't dare. Im not sure if she actually got it. As we speak i realise she did.

It's hate bombing and my phone hasn't stopped beeping i never knew I could get two messages within 1 second

But I feel at the same time calm its almost becoming predicable stuff

I won't even read it its why im writing here. Instead

[Cromwell]

I unlocked her 7 days ago and prior to that had blocked her 2 months.

I got a bit triggered and i also have had6
 A bad reaction to the moderna jab 2nd time and in that moment i sent her a page full of offloading all the things i should have said ac cumulated over years but didn't dare. Im not sure if she actually got it. As we speak i realise she did.

It's hate bombing and my phone hasn't stopped beeping i never knew I could get two messages within 1 second

But I feel at the same time calm its almost becoming predicable stuff

I won't even read it its why im writing here. Instead

[Cromwell]

Amendment its. Hate bomb love bomb in alternating carpet bomb.

I. Guess its my lack of reaction but ill remain steadfast. I am not exactly an expert in dealing with such things but id say im competent enough to hold the Fort as she whittles her energy out on the walls. It's not difficult

[Sappho11]

Rooting for you, Cromwell.

You know that you can block her number and still see how often she's called you/how many messages have been blocked? I didn't know that until recently. It's usually somewhere in the "Block" settings of the call function.

So say you wanted to keep tabs on her and her reaction, you could easily do that via this function without having to actively witness the actual sh*tshow she's unleashing. Just a thought.

[Cromwell]

She's stopped i can see snippets there's alot of images shes sending. Its helped me realise that there's nothing there in an emotional sense anymore, it's like i learned the illness and it made me realise i hadn't lost what i never actually had {even though i believed i had}.

My only concern is practical one. My life is. Otherwise stable and going in a direction im. Happy with and it's like an unnecessary boat rocker. That's the idealist in me though Sappho and it's not an ideal world.

Without some chaos there wouldn't be stability. So i dont mind, i feel alot of anxiety and fear has been conquered. It's good to see some socialist quotes recently on. The board ill add one for my comrades

Che also said that a life without enemies is worse than a life without friends.

Im fortunate i guess to have a good ratio going on. So nothing to complain about.

The revolution is a permanent one

Never a dull moment

[poppy2]

Never a dull moment

ha! you said it.

I think it's great you're posting here instead of entering the morass of messages. And I second Sappho's suggestion: you don't owe her anything, and you can simply block her again and review your messages later if you want (but I wouldn't advise it, there's probably only more pain and anxiety waiting for you.) I think it's good to review some facts about trauma: 1) trauma can arise through *not* being able to fight back, therefore, the fight response is sometimes good, but also 2) being highly aroused (like receiving many messages, being triggered, etc.) sets us back in trauma recovery because it's really by achieving states of low arousal that we are able to be safe enough in our bodies to process. That's my two cents worth on the message front (and I still anxiously check my spam inbox, because of what the silent treatment did to me).

I hope it made you feel better to get it off your chest.

[SinisterComplex]

Crom, I'm just happy to see you being constructive by sharing here and not being destructive by being lured back into the vicious cycle of chaos.

Do you amigo. Just keep getting better.

Cheers and all the best!

-SC-

[Cromwell]

the train ran out of steam, im getting better at not supplying the coal.

I got a message from two girls who are the same "out of my leagues" reacting to my facebook. Im curious if there is not a coincidence, that she has noticed the attention im getting elsewhere and this is what drove her nuts.

well if it is the case it was not intentional.