Married man exhibiting traits of BPD (EUPD) stalking me.

[HawkEyed]

I don't even know where to begin with this.

Some important info:
there has never been a sexual relationship. We've never even been alone together
our interactions were mainly by eye contact
there is a language barrier
he works outside of my house
he increasingly shows up on days off after I told him to leave me alone
he is married
I sense the obsession stems from my religiosity and dedication to rearing my kids by myself

This has been going on for a year. He caught me in a vulnerable state since the relationship between myself and my now ex-husband (covert narc) was declining rapidly.

I lost 30 lbs just trying to avoid his mental pursuit of me and begging my now ex to work through our issues.

My ex husband was not willing to validate any of my concerns and after tolerating physical abuse which he refused to acknowledge doing and years of mental abuse and also abuse of the kids I had to call it quits.

Once my marriage was all but over, I did engage in flirting with him but noticed he would never come up to me but was intensely overjoyed if I spoke to him.

He would talk about me to everyone who would listen and being the I now realise I have some codependency issues it fed my ego.

I noticed he would mirror me and changed a lot of things about himself after becoming acquainted with me.

I noticed he was obessesed with knowing about myself and everyone and everything associated with me as well as diaplaying jealousy.

He would gaze at me from afar forever.

But if I would approach him he would run away and hide then become really agitated and lose it.

I had seen him with a woman but he was so far away from her and she was so miserable that I couldn't be sure of the relationship. Shortly after that I would see him on the phone a lot arguing with papers and some lawyery looking dude would show up. Also, there would be some exchange of who I later learned was one of his sons.

I decided to ask if he was married and a coworker of his said yes. I was already divorced at this point.

I avoided him as best I could as I had been doing when I was married.

One day I came out to enjoy my balcony and he started going nuts. Turning red, couldn't sit still and panicky. He started copying all my body movements and just being weird. Then BOOM the wife shows up and goes and sots in the car. Amused but also hurt I stayed to watch.

Just like the last time there was little to no interaction. She in her phone and he sitting far away from her outside the car.

The next day I just tried to not look at him but he was jist doing everything in his power to get my attention and was just bright red always.

I needed to get it off my chest and one day just came out with it (my feelings) since I didn't like the cat and mouse game.

I did it so he would reject me and trigger him to quit the lurking and intel gathering. Instead, he says he wants to be with and so on. This threw me for a loop and I found it bizarre.

Instead of that ending things he began to orbit around me as always while ignoring me. Since we had become so connected it was bothering me.

Fast forward >>

He kept lurking about. Pretending not to see me. Before when we were somewhat civil he would always ignore after we would have a pleasant conversation. This would irritate me.

There was a holiday and to my surprise, he showed up to work when there was really no reason to because I guess he got wind that my exhusband was at my building.

Some neighbors invited him.

He knows because he has people following me and reporting back to him.

He started leaving his work chair with my building concierge so that I would see it when he wasn't around. Boundaries.

Anyhoo, pissed, I brought it out and sat with it. I refused to let his coworker take it to him. This triggered an enourmous tantrum in him and the start of what seems like a distortion campaign.

I can tell eventually no one believed though, LOL.

Anyway, shortly after I went to confront him about all his crap. He ignored me and when I went up to him said he never saw me. Which was a total lie.

Anyway, I gave it to him and point-by-point called him out on everything. I asked why he won't leave me be which he denied. I said it was between he and God. All the words I said seemed to be hitting him like right and left hooks.

He just started apologizing profusely and I just ignored him and went home.

He was less present and even stopped coming to work or would come a lot less. I decided to leave spend a week at a friends.

When I returned he would place himself outside my door and stare at me. Talking about me to everyone. I just ignored and stayed silent.

Everytime he would see me he would run and hide but also hide himself to watch me. Now he shows up outside my house in weekends just to be seen by me yet ignore me.

At this point, I've de-personalized the foolishness and am growing concerned.

My daughter saw him flipping out on a lady at the top of his lungs. I was not home at the time. Everyone on the street couldn't understand why and she ended up pushing him to the ground (he's 6'2" and built). Even his main enabler (who keeps looking at me like please talk to him) couldn't understand why.

MY QUESTION: Now that I know what I am dealing with, and he can only access me if I decide to go near him, how can I be a voice of reason and empathy I do care about him and the reason it got odd is because I am the ONLY one from what I can see that has out up any boundaries at all. When I do he can't go even one minute without silently begging for my approval.

It's painfully obvious my presence, mood and disposition affect him hugely and my home and anything cinnected to me and my area seems to be his "safe place".

I'm not in North America and this is a society where mental illness is even more taboo. I know it's a slippery slope but I want to use this influence for good.

Thanks in advance.