New to this site but hope to connect with others who understand

[spring mist]

I don't know where to start except to say it feels good to have found a community of people who will understand what I am going through. I feel as though my adult daughter has turned into the most uncaring, nasty heartless person who says things like "I wish you were dead". I feel as though I have lost her, as though something has taken my beautiful girl away and left this person in her place. Having read about BPD I fear I may have lost her forever!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[guiltymom]

Welcome to the forum, springmist. How old is your daughter? My BPD son is 24. It's so comforting to read other people's stories and think yes, uh-huh, that sounds familiar—so hard to find people in real life who can understand what it's like to have a child like this.

I first suspected BPD when my son was a high school senior, but in hindsight he showed signs when he was as young as 7 or 8—he was always moody and we always walked on eggshells. He ruined almost every vacation we ever took. But like a lot of people with BPD, when he's doing well he is really entertaining to be around—the life of a party, funny, smart. We spoiled him enough that he rarely had reason to have outbursts as a kid, so therefore we were able to lie to ourselves about how serious his issues were. But when he turned 18 he got significantly worse—totally shifting sense of identity, rapid mood swings, extreme self-consciousness and embarrassment over minor things. He also has a case of misophonia that is probably just as debilitating as his BPD.

My good news for today is that he's made an appointment with an internist to ask about trying anxiety meds. I can only hope that those will help him function better. The fact that he's willing to try is a big step—in the past he's been totally anti-therapy and anti-medication.

Anyway—just wanted to send a rambling welcome.